Sex, Lies, and the Truth
(Dating, Waiting, and Choosing a Mate, Part 4)  

Review

"Those having the most partnered sex and enjoying it most are married people. The young single people who flit from partner to partner and seem to be having a sex life that is satisfying beyond most people's dreams are, it seems, mostly a media creation. In real life, the unheralded, seldom discussed world of married sex is actually the one that satisfies people the most."

Introduction

Brainstorm! Why don't people believe the scientific evidence concerning the epidemic proportions of STD's?

   Deception #1: TV Shows and Movies Don't Tend to Tell the Whole Story.

Each year the average person views 9,230 scenes depicting sex or implied sex.  And 81% of the sex is outside of marriage. Of those episodes, how many characters acquire a STD?

    Deception #2: Our schoolmates don't tell us the whole story.  

    Deception #3: Young Minds Resist Believing Tragic Truths.

Women who have sex with more than one partner are 500 times more likely to get Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID) than those who have sex with only one. 

Reason #3:  Because Premarital Sex Strains Emotions.

Early sex has "greatly increased the number of young people in mental hospitals." (Dr. Francis Braceland, clinical professor at Yale and editor of the American Journal of Psychiatry)

 "one study shows an average of five 'real loves' for kids between ninth grade and the second year of college."

One study found that from 1974 to 1984, "guilt and remorse resulting from sexual involvement have doubled among teenagers." 

Reason #4: Because Premarital Sex Can Harm Your Relationship as a Couple. 

           "I thought Mike really loved me, but last night we had sex for the first time and this morning he told my girl friend that he didn't want to see me any more.  I thought giving Mike what he wanted would make him happy and he'd love me more.... I don't know how I can go on."

     Bringing sex into the relationship can:

• Consume the relationship and cause a breakdown in communication.

• Cause mistrust.

• Lead to a loss of respect for both of you.

• Lead to bitterness.

• Lead to an unhealthy focus on the physical rather than focus on the relationship.

Reason #5:  Because Premarital Sex Can Endanger Your Future Marriage.

  Married couples who had premarital sex are:

• more likely to have extra-marital affairs.  

• women are twice as likely to have an affair.

• tend to have less happy marriages.

• are more likely to divorce.

• are less happy with their married sex life.

Reason #6: Because Premarital Sex Can Cause Guilt and Regrets.  

Reason #7: Because Premarital Sex Can Make Us Miserable.
  

From a survey of 6500 teens:  

"When compared to teens who are not sexually active, teenage boys and girls who are sexually active are significantly less likely to be happy and more likely to feel depressed."

"When compared to teens who are not sexually active, teenage boys and girls who are sexually active are significantly more likely to attempt suicide."