Purpose: By the end of this session, I want my students to understand how people view us according to the way we dress and to be motivated to dress appropriately for different settings.

(Ideas! #1 - I normally dress casual to teach the class. For this session I wore a formal suit, which I refer to during the lesson to make a point about how I try to dress appropriately for different occasions. #2 - Tell them that toward the end of this lesson you'd like for them to write down anonymous input to help the administration know what students think would be a good school dress code. This helps students realize that they have a voice in the school. Often, we find that the rules student's suggest are stricter than our own!)

Quotes to write on the blackboard before class:  

The mind, like a parachute, functions only when open.

Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence. (Robert Frost)

It isn’t what folks don’t know that’s so dangerous; it’s what they do know that ain’t so. (Mark Twain)

Crowdbreaker: Something Good, Something Bad.

(Have students help handing out juice and donuts as they arrive.)

Why do we do "get to know you” activities each month? (Let them respond.) It's because a big part of developing respect and compassion is to get to know people beyond their outward appearance. If we shallowly caricature people as “jocks,” “cheerleaders,” “band members,” “preps,” "teachers" or “freaks,” we never get to know what people are really like. So I urge you to participate.

Think of something good that’s happened over the past month. (Give a few seconds.) Now, think of something bad that’s happened over the last month. (Give a few more seconds) Now, starting with us teachers and adults, can we share with the group?

[Note: In our class yesterday, the first student to share said that "something good" was that she's making all "A's". "Something bad" was that her dad has been given a month to live. I tried to sympathize (my wife died of cancer) and suggested strongly that we talk later in the day. I'm following up with school counselors to find ways we can help the family. This is just to say that as students begin to trust each other and their class leaders, we'll begin to find specific ways to put caring into action.]

Plea to Be Open-Minded

Today we're talking about dressing for success. I'll warn you from the outset that most of us hold pretty strong beliefs about what we wear, so try not to get defensive. Please don’t take this personally. I'm not knocking any one person or group of people. I just want us to think more deeply about how the way we dress affects ourselves and others.  

Along that line, let's read aloud together the three quotes on the blackboard (See after "Purpose" above.)

Why Dress Matters

 1. Our clothing sends messages, whether we know it or not.

Discussion: Imagine that a new student walked into class today. What kinds of assumptions do you think people would make from their first impression?  

“Social psychologists studying the impact of image have determined that it takes 30 seconds for someone meeting you to form a whole laundry list of impressions about your character and abilities.”

Is that right that we make such assumptions? (No.) Is it reality? (Yes.)

One way to realize how people come across in their dress is to discuss our "pet peeves."  What are some of your "pet peeves," things that "turn you off" or "strike you the wrong way" about the way some people dress? You know, the times when you don't have the guts to say anything, but you wish the fashion police were around to issue a citation.  

(One of mine is 40-year-olds with hairy legs wearing short shorts, which were in style in the 70's. I guess they think it's cool, but it just looks gross to me. Another is muscular guys who wear clothes obviously designed to show off their muscles. Another: guys at the beach Speedos, unless they're practicing as a swim team. In Europe, that's the expected culture. It's routine there, but not around here. The guy in the Speedo is amazed that so many people get sick at the local beach. He has no clue that they're sick of him!)

Debriefing: Do you think the 40-year-old whose mind is trapped in the 70's with his short shorts has any idea how he's coming across to me? The guy in the Speedo?

As we see, many people think they're coming across one way in their dress, but are actually coming across entirely different.  Now here's the scary part: I've got to wonder if I'm at times I'm dressing ways that in my mind are really cool, but in other's minds are intolerably geeky, or worse? The very people I think I'm impressing my be tempted to call the fashion police. 

It kind of reminds me of the classic tale by Hans Christian Anderson, "The King’s New Clothes” Who can remind us of the basic story line? 

(Idea: If you wanted to, you could bring this story in a picture book and have some students help you read it to the class. Many of these points could be tied into the story.)

In the king's mind, everyone was admiring his incredible new outfit. He thought everyone was looking at him and thinking, "cool!" Actually, everyone saw him naked. Embarrassing, huh? It's not at all how he intended to come across. Now he's incredibly demeaned and embarrassed. But aren't we likely to face the same embarrassment if we don't begin to learn how we come across to others?

Sometimes, when our culture or someone has falsely convinced us that a style is cool, we need some little kid to get in our face and say, "You're naked!" 

Discussion: How many of you have visited other countries or have relatives or friends from different countries? Can you tell me some interesting differences concerning manners or dress? 

Examples: 

• In America we signal "OK" by making a circle with our thumb and index finger. I understand that in Russia that same sign is a terrible insult. 

• In America we knock on a door to see if anyone is at home. I understand that in some Latin American countries, this would be very rude. Instead, you should clap your hands in their front yard. 

• In America, we often use handkerchiefs to blow our noses. In Burkina Faso they think we're dirty for blowing our noses and then saving it!

Even here in America, people "read" our dress different. What may signal "alternative dress" to me may signal "disrespect" or "rebellion" to another. That's why it's important, in order to dress for success, to know the culture we're dressing for. 

2. Different occasions require different clothing.  

Idea! Show a clip from the movie “Legally Blonde” where she goes to her first class at Harvard, or from "Legally Blonde II," where she first enters her Washington law office. Debrief by discussing the difference between how she saw herself coming across and how others viewed her. In what ways did people show their first impressions of her?

Small group discussion. Those who disagree with this point (we should dress differently for different occasions) might say (write this on the board), 

"My clothes are an extension of me. My clothes make a statement about who I am. To dress any other way would not be true to me." 

Do you agree or disagree? How would you respond? Talk about this as a small group and then report to back to the entire group. 

Thanks for your input! Here's my take on the statement. The formal suit I'm wearing  doesn't define me. I'm a casual person. Yet, when attending a formal occasion like a funeral or a teaching opportunity where I'm expected to look nice, I dress in this suit. Why? Because these settings are neither about me nor about making fashion statements. The purpose of these settings is to teach others or grieve with others. Dressing any other way would either distract from the purpose of the occasion. I dress many different ways according to the occasion, letting the purpose of the occasion drive my decision on how to dress.  

When my clothes help me accomplish the purpose of the occasion, I'm dressing for success. 

So, give me some advice on how you think I should dress dress to be successful in several different settings...

• A visit to my grandparents. What is my purpose? (To make my grandparents happy.) How then should I dress? (In a way that will please them.) Even if it's not the clothes that best define me? (True. Because this occasion isn't about me; it's about my parents.) 

• Applying for a job at the Mall. What's my purpose? (To let the managers know that I can handle the job and know how to work with people.) How should I dress? (We should get some diverse feedback here, since I would dress differently in applying for a job at an alternative clothing shop like "Hot Topic" than a traditional store like Sears.)

• Going to a concert. (Depends on the band. I just don't want to embarrass my kids!)

Practical outcome: “Dressing for success is relative to social contexts.” If you want to be successful, learn how people view dress in various contexts.  

    3. Our dress can affect the learning Environment

An Administrator Makes a Big Decision

I challenge you to forget for a moment that you're students. Instead, imagine that you're an administrator at this school. The purpose in the school is to provide an environment that helps students get an education. I'll put three categories on the board. Tell me some arguments that could be said for each category. (Write their responses under each category.)

No Code   Versus   Dress Code   Versus   Uniforms

Remember, try to get outside of yourself as a student. You are an administrator at a school. (This is hard!) What are as many arguments as you can come up with for each approach to how students should dress?  

(If students don't bring the following up, ask them which category they think each of these might go under):  

• Less time and energy for staff to administer (students sent to office for violations, calling home, conflicts with parents, etc.)  

• Safety of campus (potential of gangs wearing unique clothes to identify themselves.)

• Easier to identify strangers on campus

• Less violence

• Feeling of safety (some students are scared by what another thinks is funny or cool, like wearing a black trench coat.)  

• Less risk of lawsuits (if a specific code's already in place, staff don't have to make new laws when certain sub-cultures want to dress a certain way that's inappropriate) 

• Better academic performance and less absences and better self-esteem (These benefits tend to accompany wearing uniforms. Why?)

• Less problem with students and teachers judging each other by appearance.

• Less problems with materialism. 

• Less conflicts with parents.

Vote! Now, remembering that this is anonymous (nobody will see it) and that you're voting as an administrator rather than a student, which would you vote for, No Code, Code, or Uniform? (Have them write it on a paper and keep it for now.)

Your Input on Dress Code

The administrators want your help on updating the current dress code. Clothing regulations aren't their favorite thing, but they realize it’s important. What specifics would you suggest, seeing that the primary purpose here is to help us get an education?

On one side of the top of your sheet write “Male.” On the other side write “Female.” 

Example areas:

• Shirts (limits for wording or pictures?)
• Dresses (certain lengths inappropriate?)
• Skirts
• Slacks
• Belts
• Jewelry
• Socks
• Shoes
• Coats, pins, hairstyle, etc.

Please fold your paper and turn it in as you leave.

Thanks for your input! You guys are great! 

Closing Caution: If you learn to dress correctly for an occasion, don’t snoot those who don’t. That’s intolerance. Be careful not to judge a person solely by dress.