MAKING FRIENDSHIPS LAST 
ASKING FORGIVENESS

INTRODUCTION

            Quality relationships are central to our happiness.

Discussion: Jan tells you over lunch, "I was kidding around with Traci, but she's so sensitive that she got offended. Now she won't talk to me."   What would you advise Jan to do?

When and How to Say "I'm Sorry" 

Evaluate the following statements:

Statement #1 - "I've been secretly jealous of Jan, so I'd better ask her to forgive me." 

Statement #2 – “I don't need to say I'm sorry because I didn't really do anything wrong.  He just understood me the wrong way."  

Statement #3 - "O.K., I'm sorry.  I was wrong.  I got mad.  But if you hadn't called me an idiot, I wouldn't have done it!"  

Statement #4 -  "I would tell Pete that I am sorry, but it wouldn't do any good.  I know he wouldn't forgive me." 

Putting It Into Action

On a sheet of paper, write some initials... 

Discussion: What hinders us from trying to restore these relationships? How can we overcome these hindrances?

Helpful Hints

A. Find an appropriate time and place. 

B. Word your apology so that it reflects true sorrow. 

Poor: "I blew it.  But so did you!"
            "I'm sorry that you took me wrong." 

Better: "When I got mad at you this weekend, I said some horrible things to you.  I was wrong.  I'm sorry.  Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?  Our relationship is important to me." 

C.  In some instances, avoid writing a letter or e-mail.  

D.  Make it a way of life.

Tons of people are lonely because they flit about from one shallow relationship to another, dropping friends whenever the going gets rough. I challenge you to develop the fine arts of forgiving and asking forgiveness, so that your relationships can hang in there for the long haul. 

            (Copyright August, 1997 by Legacy Educational Resources).