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Forgiveness: Essential Key to Lasting Friendships
Be Tough Enough to Forgive

"Even in technical lines such as engineering, about 15% of one's financial success is due to one's technical knowledge, and about 85% is due to skill in human engineering - to personality and the ability to lead people."

"The ability to deal with people is as purchasable a commodity as sugar or coffee.  And I will pay more for that ability than for any other under the sun." (John D. Rockefeller, famous American businessman and philanthropist)

I. Getting Motivated...

             “Friendship is like money – easier made than kept.” - Samuel Butler

II. What Does It Mean to Forgive?

Forgiveness means neither getting even on the outside nor holding grudges on the inside.

True Forgiveness, or Distorted Forgiveness?

  1. "I will forgive her.  But I will never forget! (Distortion. Is holding a grudge.)

  2. "Although he has repeatedly lied about me, I will still recommend him as school principle since it would be wrong for me not to forgive him." (Distortion. Since honesty is essential for good leadership, I should take his habitual lying into consideration in my voting.)

  3. "I don't get mad.  I just get even!" (Distortion. Obviously "getting even" shows lack of forgiveness.) 

  4. "I don't get even.  I just hold grudges inside." (Distortion.)

  5. "Although he has stolen from me in the past, I will forgive him and let him house-sit for me while I'm on vacation." (Distortion. Taking into account a person's record doesn't imply that I haven't forgiven him. Even if a known child molester appeared repentant, I wouldn't allow him to baby sit my children.)

Summary Thought: If a relationship must change because of a person’s actions, it should not be out of hate or resentment on my part.

III.  Why is it Important to Forgive?

                        1 - Our physical health can suffer.

                        2 – We are robbed of our joy. 

                        3 - If you start a pattern of unforgiveness, all your long-term relationships, including your future marriage will suffer.                     

IV. Getting Personal

V. What If My Heart Refuses To Forgive?

A. Realize that people seldom "get away with" bad acts and bad character.

B. Look beneath the surface.   

(Copyright August, 1997 by Legacy Educational Resources).