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Honesty/Integrity

Purpose: By the end of this session, I want my students to desire a reputation for honesty.
Supplies: 1) Candy for game rewards. 2) Movie "Liar, Liar" for clips (optional)
Other resources: Overhead sheet, student handout. 

Teaching Hints: 

Opening Game: "Liar, Liar"

Have each student write three items of interest about themselves. Two should be true; one a lie. Students guess which is a lie. Throw candy to students who guess correctly. Adult leaders can go first to give them an example. My personal items of interest were:  

a - I dated the same girl all the way through high school. (False - I actually dated the same girl for only 3 of my high school years.)
b - I'm writing a book on famous intellectuals.
c - My twins, David and Paul, were born in Vienna, Austria.

[I like this game because 1) students and teachers get to know each other better, helping overall with school empathy 2) it's interesting, thus students enjoy it 3) It leads us into the subject of honesty.]

(Give one piece of candy to the remaining students who have none.) 

Transition: I can tell from this game that we're all pretty good at lying! Today we'll talk about whether or not we want to use that ability, as we talk about honesty.   

Defining Honesty

How would you define honesty? (Put the elements on the board as they guess them.) Your resulting definition might be something like this:  

"Telling the truth rather than lying or deceiving."

When Ethics Get Sticky...

Activity: Integrity Survey (From Billy Richardson)

1.  Put the following five questions on the board or an overhead. Ask students to number a paper from one to five, NOT put their names on the paper, but to answer the following questions honestly. You may respond in one of three ways: a) Yes b) No c) depends

1) Would you break a promise with a friend?
2) Would you be dishonest with your parents?
3) Would you gossip if you knew the rumor to be false?
4) Would you cheat on your boyfriend/girlfriend?
5) Would you cheat on a final exam?

2.  Have them turn in their papers. 

3. Write on the board/overhead how they responded. 

4. Discuss the findings. 

Discussion (probably best limited to upper classmen and college students. For younger students, skip down to "Why do people lie?"): Are there times when you you think lying is the right thing to do?  

One of my college texts in Ethics was Joseph Fletcher's Situation Ethics. He argues that all morals are relative, except for the one absolute, which is love. If you asked Fletcher, "Is it ever okay to lie?" he might respond, "Give me a situation. For example, imagine you're hiding Jews under your floor in Germany during the time of Nazi rule. Soldiers come to your door and ask if Jews are in your home. What would you say?" Fletcher might say that love would dictate that you lie in order to save the Jews. 

What do you think of Fletcher's love ethic? (Get some discussion.)

I'd agree with lying in this extreme situation, but for a different reason than Fletcher. It appears to me that in fighting a just war, deceit is of the nature of warfare. We routinely deceive opposing armies to make them think we're doing one thing, when we're actually doing another. (Think: Operation Desert Shield becomes Operation Desert Storm.) Similarly, in order to protect my family, I might lie to an armed robber in order to protect my family. 

My problem with Fletcher's love ethic is that it can be too easily used to justify lying in less than extreme situations. My girlfriend asks if I'm seeing another girl. I say "Of course not!" telling her a flat out lie. How could I justify my lie with Situation Ethics? (I tell myself that  it would be unloving to cause her emotional anguish by telling her the truth.)  

Illustration: Isn't this precisely what got a recent president in trouble? While lying about his affair with Monica Lewinsky might have seemed in the short run to be in the best interest of his family, in the long run it put both he and his family through a personal hell. 

I'm more comfortable with seeing honesty, except in extreme life/death situations, as an absolute. In other words, in those daily situations where I'm tempted to lie, telling the truth is ultimately the most loving thing I can do, even when it may temporarily bring me and others distress. I believe that honesty IS the best policy. But let's move on to try to establish this. 

Why do people lie? (Get them to discuss. Below are some reasons they may suggest.)

Transition: Those are the reasons it's so tempting for us to lie. But let's examine our feelings about situations where others lie to us.

(Leader: Above we engaged student's minds to help them understand honesty. In the next points, we're attempting to engage their emotions to help them desire honesty. We're doing this by helping them realize how much they despise being lied to and deceived by others.)

Where We See Dishonesty

Discussion: Where do you see dishonesty that really gripes you? (You share an area and then let them share.)

The Challenge: Now that we've defined and refined our definition of honesty, I want to us to try to think differently than many in our culture. On some surveys, over 50% of students say that they're willing to lie or cheat in everyday circumstances. Let's write on the board some reasons that lying hurts us and why honesty may be the best policy after all. (In the following points, I've listed ideas of what students may suggest and how you could elaborate.)

Counting the cost of lies: 

Lies hurt the people lied to. 

Movie Clip:  Show the scene (or ask students to describe it from memory) from the movie "Liar Liar" where the child is at his birthday party awaiting his dad, who broke his promise to attend. Do you know this child's feeling? Have other's let you down with their lies?

(Leader: Tell a time that lying hurt you. Perhaps you were ripped off by false advertising, let down by a parent or friend, cheated on or deceived by a boyfriend/girlfriend, etc.) 

Lies grow. One leads to another. If one pays off, you develop a habit.

One of the striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. (Mark Twain)

A lie goes half way around the world before the truth can get
its pants on. (Winston Churchill)

They make us smaller as people.

"...you’ll never be truly successful unless everything you do is under girded with honesty and integrity." (Dr. Hal Urban, Life's Greatest Lessons)

We seldom get away with them.

 Which Tire Was Flat?

Four high school boys decided to skip their morning classes and go have some fun instead. After lunch they checked into school, reporting to their teacher that a flat tire had held them up all morning. They were relieved when their teacher smiled and said, ''Well, you missed a test this morning, so take your seats apart from one another and get out your notebooks.'' After settling into their chairs, she said, ''Now for the first question: which tire was flat?'' (From Foster Quinn)

The problem with lying is that eventually you get caught. And after you've been caught, even if it's only once, it's extremely difficult for people to ever trust you again. So this week, let's try to catch our selves when we're tempted to lie, or even just to "stretch the truth" a little. Then ask yourself, "Is it really worth it?"

Discussion Questions

1) How did the four boys get into trouble?
2) When you realize that someone has lied to you, how does that affect your relationship with that person?
3) When you catch someone in a lie, can you ever really trust that person again?
4) Why is it so tempting to lie?
5) How can we become more honest?

''No man has a good enough memory to make a successful liar.'' -- Abraham Lincoln

Lying is a quick fix that you pay dearly for down the line. (Steve Miller)

They lead to personal failure.

(Tell failures you've seen because of dishonesty.)

Illustration: According to April, 2004 news reports, hundreds of students from one university may have their college degrees revoked because they paid someone to change their grades. What other problems do you think these students will face? (They might get fired from their jobs and have difficulty getting another one.)

Illustration: Readers of a college newspaper noticed that the music reviews were awfully similar to Rolling Stones' reviews. An investigation found that the student had plagiarized and fired him. How do you think this will affect his future? (Newspapers will be able to find articles about him on the Web and won't hire him.) 

Today's professors have software for catching plagiarism. Even without special software, a simple search in Google News of a distinct phrase from your paper can turn up your sources.  

They lead to failure in business.

Great companies these days both write out and try to adhere to a set of written Core Values. While the products they sell and their ways of going about business may shift, they've found that to be successful over the long haul, they must hold strong to their unchanging values.

"Compromise anything but your core values," (Howard Schultz, CEO of Starbucks.)

The cornerstone of all that is honorable, "integrity" is a value that requires us...to conduct ourselves in an honest, truthful, and straightforward way. There may be dishonest people in the world, but we don't have to admit them into our company.  (Joe Marasco, Senior Vice President of IBM, in listing Integrity as the first of the three great values of IBM.)

"We approach all aspects of our business with honesty and integrity." (McDonalds, from their "Values and Principles")

"Integrity, Competence, Tenacity, Patriotism, Service" (U.S. Air Force Core Values)

If written core values help great companies and institutions keep on course, shouldn't they also help us as individuals? That way, even if it seems that everyone else is cheating on tests, lying to their parents and lying on their resumes, you can stand against the tide because of your core values. 

Benefits of Honesty: I went to a local music store to find a mute for my trumpet, so that I wouldn't bother my family with my annoying practice. An employee was about to sell me a $25.00 mute when the owner said, "mutes don't help that much with noise reduction. I just stick a sock in the end of the trumpet and stretch panty-hose over it to hold it in." He lost a sale, but do you think this was wise or not? (His honesty lost him a sale, but gained him a life-long customer.  The next time I make an expensive purchase, you know where I'm headed.)

''Somebody once said that in looking for people to hire, you look for three qualities: integrity, intelligence, and energy. And if they don't have the first, the other two will kill you.'' (Warren Buffett, who became the 2nd wealthiest man in the USA by understanding and in investing in great companies. From Omaha World Herald, February 1, 1994)

They hurt our relationships.

It takes only one lie to make our friends and families question everything we say. 

They eat away at our happiness.

In about the 5th grade, I didn't count a shot that nobody else saw in a golf tournament. I cheated. I won a trophy by one stroke over a friend. Yet, every time I looked at that trophy, I knew I didn't deserve it. I eventually admitted to him that I cheated and gave him the trophy.   

They hurt us physically.

"Research conducted at Southern Methodist University...'found evidence to suggest that the effort required to sustain a false intention places an enormous stress on the body’s nervous systems.' We literally stir up inner turmoil when we’re dishonest. In essence, we punish ourselves." (From Hal Urban, Life's Greatest Lessons)

They hurts us financially.

A used car salesman sold me a car, promising that he'd get me a missing interior piece. Months later, he'd never called. I inquired and he said, "Hey, trust me!" He never came through. I was not surprised that the next time I checked, he was out of business. People who jip people in the short term tend to fold in the long-term.

One day you'll need your reputation.

There will be key times in your life where the only thing to save your butt will be your reputation. At that time you'll either be glad for your reputation  or wish like everything you'd been honest in the past. 

Clip: Later in the movie "Liar, Liar", the father has a legitimate excuse for missing his appointment with his family. He's in prison. He's in the right, but nobody believes him. Why not? (Let them respond.) What if he'd developed a reputation for honesty? How would his life have been different? (Show the clip where he's calling home, but nobody believes him.)

At some point in your life, perhaps a person will tell your spouse that you've been cheating on him or her. If you've been honest in your dealings, your spouse will believe you. If not, nothing you do or say might convince your spouse of your innocence. Perhaps a person at work will accuse you of stealing from the company. If you've been honest, you're likely to be believed.

That's why I challenge all of us to, like a good company, write out our personal core values and include personal integrity at the top of the list.