As an upperclassman in high school I discovered a great tool that’s made my life more purposeful, exciting and fulfilling. That tool is simply writing down my long-term dreams and setting short term goals to reach them. At first, it probably doesn’t look like anything to get excited about, but for me and many others, it’s proven revolutionary. I’ll walk you through the process over several sessions, starting today with writing down a purpose in life.

(Facilitator Hint: Think through how goals and purpose have helped you in life, or how the lack thereof have hurt you. Students love to hear real life stories!)

Most people seem to drift through life with little purpose. They’re kind of like dead fish floating wherever the tide takes them. That pretty much describes my life until I turned 16 and discovered a purpose in life.  

Discussion: In what ways do you think having a purpose helps people with life? For me, adopting a purpose:

• simplified many decisions (If drinking alcohol didn’t fit with my purpose, why do it?)
• helped me to take charge of my future (I could chart my own course rather than being pushed around by others’ expectations.)
• made life more fulfilling (It’s tremendous fun to accomplish things that really make a difference!)
• made me a better leader (people like to follow someone who knows where they’re going.)
• helped me endure the hard times (it’s easier to hang in there if I’m enduring for some reason.)

As author Ralph Waldo Emerson said, ''The world makes way for a man who knows where he is going.'' 

Leadership guru Warren Benis shares five characteristics of effective leaders. The first one on his list is:

No longer drifting with the tide, I could chart my own course and set sail. It’s so cool to be able to look off the back of the boat to see where I’ve been and then run up to the front to see where I’m headed. Life has become an adventure!

Illustration: One man had the job of conducting job interviews for a large company.  His method was intriguing.  An applicant would walk in the door and the man would ask him to be seated.  Then he would get real comfortable, serve drinks, laugh and cut up, then suddenly lean forward and demand, ''What's your purpose in life?'' 

He did this because he found that people who knew where they were going in life did better in working for their company.  One day he was interviewing a fellow, had him all relaxed, and suddenly leaned forward and blasted his question:  ''What's your purpose in life?'' 

Without hesitating, the man shocked the interviewer by shooting back, ''To go to heaven and take as many people with me as I can!''(1) The interviewer was impressed. This person had a clear purpose and could articulate it at a moment's notice. This man had a clearly religious purpose. Your purpose may or may not be defined in religious terms. The point is, had you been the person being interviewed, could you have shot back your purpose in life as clearly?

In a few minutes I'll let you take a shot at wording your own life's purpose. But first, reflect on some of these life purposes and hints from other successful people: 

Stephen R. Covey wrote a runaway best-seller (over 10 million copies sold!) entitled "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People." One habit he suggests is, "Begin With the End in Mind." In other words, if you want to put together a complex puzzle, it helps to look regularly at a picture of the completed puzzle. 

Activity:  Although this might seem a little morbid at first, I think it will help us as we try to envision a life purpose. Close your eyes. Now imagine that you're walking into a building with a lot of other people. Everyone's dressed nice and seem to be nervously making small-talk. You see a line of people waiting to enter a room. They sign a registry as they enter. You enter the room, see flowers everywhere and suddenly realize that you're in a funeral home, with an open casket sitting at the end of the room. You walk up to the casket to see who died. Your shocked! It's you! 

After you get over the initial shock, you're curious to know what people are saying about you. What are they saying? What would you like them to be saying?  

Debriefing: What would you want people to be saying about you? (Write their answers on the board.) This totally weird activity helps us to clarify what's really important to us, what we want to be and to accomplish during our lives. Now we can do what Stephen Covey recommends: "begin with the end in mind," by trying to put our life's purpose into a mission statement.  

Think of What Will Really Make You Happy 

Before you try to write down a purpose statement, let me throw out a warning: Shallow people think of life purpose solely in terms of "getting all I want out of life," like "being a millionaire." It's all about me, me, me. To force us to think more deeply about life, let's ask some questions that most people never get around to asking. (Use the Socratic method of asking questions to get back to the most important issues.)

1 - Why do you want to become a millionaire? (Example: To have a great house or a Porche or to not have to work.) 

2 - Why do you want to have a Porche? (People would respect me and like me.)

3 - Why do you want people to respect and like you? (Because that would make me happy.)

So...the bottom line is that you want to be happy and you think having a million dollars will help you achieve happiness. Right? I'd like to question whether or not having a million dollars is the best way to achieve personal happiness.  Here's what some studies have found:

• "37% of a sample of 49 super-rich people were less happy than the national average. In another study, there was no difference between the happiness level of 22 lottery winners and comparison samples of average people or paraplegics." (Oliver James, Children Before Cash, "The Guardian," May 17, 2003)
• "Compared to 1957, we are now "the doubly affluent society"—with double what money buys. We have twice as many cars per person. We eat out two and a half times as often. In the late 1950s, few Americans had dishwashers, clothes dryers, or air conditioning; today, most do." If more money makes us happier, then people today should be happier today than they were then. But are they? No. Compared to people in the 50's statistics find us less happy, three times the number of teen suicides and many more depressed. (Wealth, Well-Being and the New American Dream, by David G. Myers ( www.newdream.org ).  
• "...after a period of adaptation, lottery winners and paralyzed persons report roughly similar levels of happiness." (Myers, opt. cite)
• people who strive most for wealth tend to be less happy than others. Those who strive for "intimacy, personal growth, and contribution to the community" have a better quality of life. (From the research of Psychologist Richard Ryan, Tim Kasser, and the earlier findings of H.W. Perkins.)

Sure, those who can afford food and shelter are happier than those who can't, but beyond taking care of the essentials, money doesn't do much for our happiness. 

Discussion: So, if money doesn't make people happy, what does? (Get their ideas.) 

Psychologists and social scientists have been researching the question of human happiness, especially over the past 10 years. According to research, these are some of the things that bring happiness: 

Discussion: It's been said that many people spend their lives climbing the ladder to success, only to reach the top and realize it was leaning against the wrong wall. How can this research on happiness help us to make sure our ladder is leaned against the right wall? How can this research help us in writing a personal Mission/Vision statement? (Don't make it in terms of getting wealthy. If personal happiness is important to you, shoot for things that we know make people happy.)

Shoot for Significance, Not Just Success

Write it Down…  

It seems that all great businesses have a vision or mission statement. They say it helps them focus on what's most important and what they do best. Why don't more individual people have mission statements?

Don’t put off adopting a purpose, imagining you’ll have to stick to it forever. You’ll probably refine your purpose as you live life, so just get something decent down on a sheet  of paper for now. Try to make it short enough to remember.