How to Be a Peacemaker
(For Grades K-2)

  Purpose: To help children understand how to bring peace to troubled relationships.

Preparation: Think through your own relationships and things that have worked/not worked in helping students solve relational problems. During the “Brainstorm” under point #2, you might want to share some of these.

  1. How Relationships Get Tangled

  Discussion: What are things people do that bug you? (If they need help getting started, suggest some things like “when others poke at you, call you names, etc.” By identifying some of these, many students will come to realize that things they thought were just cute really bug others and make others not like them. Write some of them on the board so that you can refer back to them in the “Brainstorm” in point #2.)

  Transition: When we do these things that bug others, or when others do them to us, we get upset and sometimes don’t like them any more. When that happens, somebody needs to become a peacemaker to try to help the relationship.

  2. How to Untangle Relationships

  Game: The Untangle Game

Divide into groups of 4 (must be an even number). Each group should stand facing one another in a circle.  Instruct each student to hold the right hand of a student across from (not next to) him or her. Next, join left hands with a different person.  Then, try to untangle (getting to where the team is a complete circle without hands crossing in the middle) without anyone letting go. 

(Hint: On the lower elementary level, don’t make a contest out of it, since some get very frustrated about being losers. Instead, as the first teams get untangled, let them help the other teams who are still trying to get untangled. Teachers and assistants can give advice as well.)

After successfully untangling with four students, let them try again with six.

Debriefing: How easy was it to get untangled? (Some had an easy time; others a difficult time.) Relationships are like knots that need to be untangled. Sometimes it’s easy; sometimes it’s really hard.  

Brainstorm: Imagine that someone’s been bugging you – let’s say, calling you names at recess. What can you do to solve that problem? What if you see someone else being called names? What can you do to be a peacemaker?

Hint: This will be a rather free-wheeling discussion. Let some students say why they think some solutions sometimes don’t work. Although relational issues can often be complex, it’s good for students to hear different strategies for peacemaking. This gives them some tools to work through their problems. Point to the board to remind them of the things they shared that bug them. Ask for solutions to each item they mentioned.

Here are some ideas that students may come up with. If they don’t, you may want to add some to the discussion:

1. Attack the problem; not the person.

Good: “When you called me that name, it hurt me.”
Bad: “You’re mean.”

2. Tell the person how you feel. Often, people are just kidding and don’t really know that they are bugging you. If you don’t let them know how you feel, they’ll keep doing it.

3. Avoid labeling. Labels hurt. For example: “You’re just like all Mexicans.”

4. Learn to forgive. Holding grudges hurts us more than others.

5. Talk to a teacher or parent if you can’t solve it yourself.

6. Talk to a counselor if you need to.

Conclusion

It’s not always easy to be a peacemaker; but it’s worth it when it helps us to keep our friends and make life easier. Today and this week, let’s try to be peacemakers. Let me know if you need help and maybe we can work something out together.

(Copyright November, 2003, Legacy Educational Resources, All Rights Reserved.)