Having completed almost 12 years of education, you're moving beyond simply trying to pass classes. You're transitioning from being "the led" to being leaders. Being upperclassmen means that you're leaders by default. Like it or not, whether you feel qualified or not, underclassmen quietly watch you in the lunchroom and in the hallways to find out how to act and live. You will soon lead businesses and families.

That's a pretty big responsibility! If we constantly complain and gripe, we have the power to lead an entire student body to emulate that behavior.

Discussion: What qualities do you think we need to develop in order to be effective leaders?

The armed forces are big into developing leadership. The Marines, for example, have a list that includes:

Illustration: Benjamin Franklin was one of the most incredible leaders of his time. His accomplishments were so amazing that people still write biographies on him today, over 200 years after his death. I think that to a large degree he was so successful because early in his life he actually wrote a list of character qualities and evaluated himself regularly as to how well he was doing in each area.

We know that your character will have more to do with your success than your grade point average. That's why we take character education so seriously around here.

Transition: But that's when some of us run into a major problem: we don't seem to have the time or ability to do everything right. Parents and teachers tell you that to be successful you need great grades, exemplary character, work experience, community service, etc. But since none of us totally measure up, some of us go to bed at night with an incomplete "to-do" list in our heads, hearing a voice whispering "loser!" in our heads. And besides academic stress, we've got all the relational stress and other stresses at home and at school.

That all adds up to lots of STRESS. The better we are able to handle stress, the more we can enjoy life in spite of all its demands. So during this session let's explore stress, how to understand it, how to see it when it's building and how to practically deal with it when it strikes.

"Stress is the body’s response to any demand on it."

Discussion: How can stress be positive? (Let a few students share) A certain amount of stress can be good. It provides the means to express talents, energies and happiness. It pushes us to do our best and can get the adrenaline rushing when we need to think and react quickly.

But when stress builds it can cause frustration, exhaustion and even illness. How can we keep stress from getting out of hand?

A good first step in dealing with stress is to understand just how stressed you are. When your stress level gets too high, you may need to compensate by getting more rest, talking to someone about it, or saying "no" to new commitments.

Let's take a test that psychologists have developed to try to identify the level of stress each of us is working under. Please don't get stressed about the test! You won't turn it in. It's solely for your own benefit. I know that some of the questions are vague, but just circle the ones that you think represent you. Answer each question in relation to, not just what you're experiencing now, but what you've experienced over the past year.

(Students take the test here.)

Of course, a test like this isn't always accurate. It doesn't take into account that while "trouble at school" might be a chewing gum violation to one student, it might be a suspension to another. Neither does it take into account our personalities, so that while getting "B" on a report card may be a source of celebration to one student, it might be a temptation to suicide for another.

For some of us, taking that test helps us see if we're stressed. For others, being aware of common symptoms of stress can help us recognize stress. As I say some common symptoms of stress, write down which ones you experience. By identifying these, you can discover the early warning signs that you may be stressing out.

(Selected from Mayo Clinic Guide to Self-Care, Philip T. Hagen, M.D., ed., Mayo Clinic, Rochester, Minnesota, 1999, p. 244.)

If you see several of these warning signs, consider that you may be experiencing too much stress. When you discover heavy stress, try to deal with it. Since stress often builds over time, it's better to tackle it early than later.

Small Group Discussion: Let's divide into groups of 5 or 6 and discuss the main sources of stress in our lives. It could be parents, siblings, homework, health, or whatever. Appoint a secretary in your group to write down each source of stress that people mention, with no names, please. (After about 5 minutes, or when you notice some groups closing down, get everyone's attention and ask each secretary to share their lists. Ask a student with good hand writing to write the list on the overhead or blackboard as students share.)

Was that relaxing? Isn't it amazing how well a small "stress buster" can relieve stress?

Bulletin Board #1: situations that are/have been stressful

Bulletin Board #2: warning signals that let me know I am getting upset

Bulletin Board #3: self-control strategies I use/have used

Divide the class into three groups. Place each group at one of the above posters at three different places in the room with a marker and have each choose a recorder (writer) for their group. Explain that they will have about 3 minutes to brainstorm as the recorder writes the responses on the posters. When time is up, rotate the until everyone has had a chance at each of the posters. Tell them to try not to repeat any statements previously written. When all three groups have rotated, place all three posters on the front of the board. Discuss their responses and add others they might give during discussion.

Discussion: Although to his fans Elvis seemed to have it all, inside his life was out of control. A part of his problem may have been his intense desire to please everyone. What's the difference between pleasing and serving? Why can trying to please everyone be so stressful? Elvis tried to handle stress with prescription sleeping pills and prescription speed. How do you think this affected him in the long run? (He used more and more and eventually died of the side effects.) Drawing from what you learned today, how would you have advised Elvis to deal with his stress?

Someone sent me this copy of a high stress diet for corporate executives: