Civility: The Fun of Giving  

Story #1: The Secret Santa

(Either an adult or a student could read this. Either should be a very natural reader.)

Today, we want to tell you a story about how when you give to others, you often end up receiving more.

Years ago, a man lost his job. Before he could find a new job, his money ran out and he had to sleep in his car for eight days. After two days of not eating, he was getting pretty hungry. So he went to a restaurant called the Dixie Diner, where he ordered a big breakfast.

Of course, he had no money to pay for it, so he acted like he’d lost his wallet.

The cook, Tom Horn, who owned the restaurant, figured out that the man was having hard times, so he acted like he’d found a $20 bill and said, “Son, you must have dropped this.” He gave the poor man the money, so that he wouldn’t be embarrassed at his lack of money.

(Hint: If on video, actually take a bill, act like you found it, and act like you’re handing it to someone as you tell this part of the story. Visuals keep their attention.)

That was a pretty nice thing to do, wasn’t it? But the story doesn’t end there. Twenty-eight years later, the cook, by this time an eighty-five year old man who was taking care of his sick wife, got a knock at his door. Mr. Horn opened it to find the man he’d given the $20 to years earlier, standing there with a Santa Clause hat on. He wasn’t poor any longer. Now a successful businessman, he was grateful to the cook for helping him when he had no money.

He asked how much Mr. Horn thought the $20 might be worth after all those years. Mr. Horn just laughed and jokingly said, “Probably $10,000.” The man in the Santa hat handed (Say this slowly and deliberately, for effect) Mr. Horn $10,000 in cash. Pretty cool, huh?

But that’s still not the end of the story. The man in the Santa hat had so much fun giving, that he gives away around $25,000 in $100 bills around Christmastime each year. He’s called Secret Santa. After New York was attacked and the Twin Towers collapsed, he went to New York and handed out $100 bills to people who needed cheering up. He isn’t looking for thanks or praise. He doesn’t even give out his name. It’s just fun to give. In his own words, “Isn’t it fun to lift people up and see the smiles on their faces?”

"Secret Santa" seems to have discovered one of the greatest secrets of having fun. He gives. Who is someone you could give to today? Could you contribute to the people who have lost everything to the hurricane? Could you sit next to a student during lunch who doesn't have a friend?

Debriefing in Classes

1 - Do you think it was hard for the cook, Mr. Horn, to give away a meal to the man with no money? What might other people have done?

2 – Do you think giving away the food made Mr. Horn feel good?
3 – How did Mr. Horn’s giving pay off years later?

4 – Why do you think “Secret Santa” gives away $100 bills, when he could keep the money and buy stuff for himself?

5 – How could we be more like Mr. Horn and “Secret Santa”?

Debriefing for Younger Students

Draw a picture from this story, perhaps of the cook in the restaurant giving the hungry man $20.00, or the "Secret Santa" giving $10,000 to the old cook on his front porch, or of "Secret Santa" giving away $100 bills.

(Put the pictures up around the room to remind the students of the fun of giving.)

(Story rewritten by Steve Miller from Dave Ramsey, The Total Makeover, pp. 215, 216)

Story #2: Sharing Can Be Fun!

(Hint! This story might be more effective if some teachers actually brought a coconut, cut a hole in it, and placed some large nuts in it. Make the hole just big enough for students to get their hand into it, but not big enough for them to pull it out with the candy in their hand. After the story, let them put their hand in, grab the nuts, and try to get their hand back out with the nuts.)

Imagine that you live in a country where monkeys live out in the jungle behind your house. Now imagine that you wanted to catch one alive, to keep as a pet. But monkeys are quick and can quickly climb out of our reach. How would you catch a monkey?

Here’s how one person learned to catch monkeys:

First, he’d find a coconut, cut a hole in it, and put in it some delicious nuts that monkeys love. Next, he’d attach a rope to the coconut and tie it to a tree, near where the monkeys liked to hang out.

When a monkey smelled the food, the monkey would put his hand into the coconut to grab the nuts. (Demonstrate it with a student if you have a coconut.) But the hole was too small for him to pull his hand out while holding the food. (Pass it around and let the students try it.)

The man could then walk right up to the monkey and capture it.

What's my point? People who are the most greedy are usually the most miserable. People who are more giving are more happy. Today, who can you be generous to, either by saying "Hello," asking how they're doing, or helping them with a problem?

In Class Discussion:

How could the monkey have escaped when he saw the man coming? Why do you think the monkey couldn’t get away? Why wouldn’t the monkey just let go of the nuts so that he could slip his hand out and escape?

The monkey got caught because he was too greedy. Do you know what “greedy” means? (I want to keep what I have, without giving it away or sharing it.) He wanted to get away; but he didn’t want to get away without his food. Without letting go of his food, he couldn’t have his freedom.

What can we learn from this monkey about being greedy? (Sometimes holding on to what is ours can get us in trouble.) Sometimes it’s hard to open up our hands and share what we have with someone else. Why is it so hard? (1 - We want to play with it ourselves. 2 – We’re afraid they might lose it or break it.)

What are some good things that might happen to those who share? (Others are more willing to share with us. We make friends.)

Today, let’s try to be less greedy and more eager to share. Let me know today when you have a chance to share something, or if you see someone sharing.

Optional Activity for Younger Students:

Have students draw a picture of the monkey with his hand caught in the coconut. You may wish to put these pictures up in the class as a reminder to share and not be greedy.

Story #3: A President Who Knew How to Make Friends

It's been said that:

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you."

Could all of our teachers write that statement on their blackboards for the day? I'll repeat it (read it slowly):

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you."

Theodore Roosevelt lived out this saying. He was a very popular president of the United States. Being president, could have spent his time impressing people with his great knowledge and experiences. After all, he'd led his "Rough Riders" to capture San Juan Heights, the key battle to secure the end of the Spanish-American War. He would eventually write over 35 books and become the only President to receive both the Medal of Honor, the nation's highest honor for actions in war as well as the Nobel Prize for Peace.

But instead of bragging to visitors about all of his accomplishments, he was more interested in their lives. Here was one way he took an interest in others. Whenever he was expecting a guest the next day, he would read up the night before on a topic in which the guest would be particularly interested. In this way, he could talk about what interested the other person.

Roosevelt's personal servant, James E. Amos, wrote a book about him entitled, "Theodore Roosevelt, Hero to His Valet." In the book, Mr. Amos tells of his wife asking the President about a certain bird, a Bobwhite, that she had never seen. Later, the wife received a call from the President himself. He said that a Bobwhite was outside her window and she could look out and see it. Little actions like this show we care, that we are concerned with the interests of others, not absorbed with our own interests.

Roosevelt wasn't all about himself. He was out for others. Years later, Dale Carnegie would write one of the top-selling books ever written, all about how to make friends. One chapter was about the very principle that president Roosevelt lived out so well. Here's how Carnegie put it, just as we said at the beginning of the story:

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you."

Who are some people at school you've never really gotten to know? Why not take a minute now, and at lunch, to ask those around you about what they like to do, what they enjoy, what are their hobbies. By taking an interest in others, they're more likely to take an interest in you.

"Story" #4: Perhaps more for older students...

Do you want to be happier about life and free from more worry and stress? Listen to the results of a very interesting study, to show you how...

''A study done at the University of Michigan revealed that persons who regularly volunteer their time heighten their overall zest for living and increase their life expectancy. Studies on aging have reached a similar conclusion...Stress researchers from the University of Illinois found that persons who feel connected with other people are more calm, less tense...Giving can be disguised in many forms, from understanding to empathy, from compassion to acts of service. Whatever it takes, the core is still the same -- giving of ourselves is offering love, and love remains the only gift that multiplies when you give it away." (From Halftime p. 142, From the collection of Barry St. Clair)

In other words, those who volunteer their time to help others end up feeling less stressed about life, more happy about their lives. How could you help others today?

"Story" #5: Start With One Person

Sometimes we don't get involved with helping others because we think, "I'm just one person. What can I do to help all those needs?" But just listen to this story...

One day, after a big storm, a man was walking on a beach. On the sand were thousands of starfish, all doomed to die in the mid-afternoon heat. The man continued walking until, up the beach, he saw a child picking up the starfish and throwing them back into the ocean. The man walked over to the child and said, ''What are you doing? You can't possibly save every starfish on the beach. The afternoon sun will dry out all of them. Don't waste your time. What difference can it possibly make?'' The child bent down, picked up a starfish and threw it into the ocean. ''It makes a big difference to that one,'' he replied. (Jon Rosenberg)

You may not be able to help everybody, but you can help somebody.

As Martin Luther King, Jr. once said,

Everybody can be great . . . because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace, a soul generated by love.

As Albert Einstein said,

Only a life lived for others is worthwhile.

What can you do for someone today?