Setting (And Keeping!) Your Standards (Part II)
Dating Series, Part 6

Review: In the last session, we explored three principles to help us keep out of sexual trouble.

• Remember the Consequences  "What consequences?"
• Remember, You're Not Alone "What did we mean by this?"
• Face the Motives "What do you remember from the survey?"

How to Resist Early Sex...

I. Set Your Standard

• If you set standards too low, you can light a fuse that's hard to put out.
• Concentration on the physical can blur your real feelings for a person.

Standards Others Have Set:

• "Don't unzip. Don't unbutton. Don't pull up. Don't pull down. Keep your hands to yourself. Keep your tongue in your own mouth!"
• "We will not kiss until we are engaged."
• "I'll kiss, but only a kiss of respect (quick, short, and meaningful) rather than a kiss of passion."
• "I'll give a kiss of respect on a first date and longer kisses if we continue dating. I won't go any further than that till I'm married."

Ideas for setting your own standards:

• Treat every person the way you would want someone else to be treating your future mate.
• To keep you from the temptation to set your standards as low as you think you can get away with, imagine this. You have a 15 year old sister who has come to you for advice as to how far she should be willing to go with her boyfriend. What would you tell her? Why should your standard be any lower than the one you advise for her?
• Consider your spiritual convictions. What would your pastor, priest or religious tradition advise? 
• Get input from your parents.

The Challenge: Set your own standard!

II. Take Some Wise Advice. 

Brainstorm! Your 14-year-old brother has a problem...

How can we resist sexual temptation?

A. Set Your Standards Before You're Swept Away in the Emotion of the Moment. 

B. Beware of "The Law of Diminishing Returns." 

C. If You're Dating, Plan Your Dates. 

"Those who fail to plan, plan to fail."

D. Don't Date a Person With a Bad Reputation. 

A warning to guys...

A warning to girls...

In a Kent State University study, over half (57%) of the women who had been raped had been raped by their dates. (McDowell, 22,23)

E. Do Whatever It Takes To Keep Your Standards. 

F. Decide What Places You Will Not Go. 

The number one place teens fall into sex?

Suggested Standards:

G. Girls Especially, Watch How You Dress. 

H. Hang Around People Who Share Your Standards. 

I. Guard Your Mind. 

GIGO = Garbage In; Garbage Out

J. Get a Life!