Purpose: By the end of this lesson, I want my students to be motivated to stand against peer pressure.  

Other Resources: See Overhead and Student Handout. Also note that we have another lesson on this same topic which emphasizes the practical aspects of standing against peer pressure.

Teaching Tips: Briefly look over the main points. Now, think through your own life and experience.  Were there times that you or your acquaintances fell to peer pressure that would help you identify with your sometimes failing students?  Were there times you resisted that could encourage and challenge them?  Would sharing these regrets and victories bring a more personal flavor to the lesson?  Students want to know about your life.  Your personal illustrations might be remembered better than any of the stories I share here. Could you interview a recovering alcoholic or drug addict in front of the class who could share the toll that falling for peer pressure took in his/her life?

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win. (Mahatma Gandhi)

An incredibly powerful force is destroying the lives of students today, a force that pushes people to do insane things they later regret. We all face it.  It’s called Peer Pressure. Here are two examples of just how powerful this force is:

Illustration: Sharon Scott is a nationally recognized counselor who spent many years working with youth, teachers, counselors, parents and police. Observing why teens get in trouble with the law, she said,

“The single major factor influencing these poor decisions was negative peer pressure.” (Peer Pressure Reversal, 1985, Human Resources Press, Inc., Amherst, Mass., from the Preface.)

Illustration: In one survey, guys responded that their #1 reason for having premarital sex was "peer pressure" -- not pressure from the person they were dating, but pressure from their friends.

I think that inside we'd all like to set our own standards instead of being pushed around by others. But is it really possible to stand against the tide? I’d like to begin this lesson with a story of a girl who didn’t fall to the pressure. (Let a student read it.):   

Illustration: A girl was spending the night with some friends when the conversation turned to sex. Her friends claimed they had experienced sex and taunted her about her virginity.  Many people would have fallen to the pressure by either pretending to have experienced sex, or at least agreeing with their moral stand.  But not this girl.  Instead, having had her fill of the teasing, she shot back, "Any time I want, in the back seat of a car, I can become what you are.  But no matter how hard or how long you try, you can never become what I am." Wow!  What a gutsy girl! Whether or not you agree with this girl's stand, I admire her courage to stand against the crowd.

If we want to chart our own course in life, we've got to learn to swim upstream even when everyone else seems to be floating downstream. Somehow, we've got to develop "face in the wind" personalities. If we don't stand for something, we're liable to fall for anything.  

Today, let's see how peer pressure works and look for some practical ways to beat it.

1. The Power of Peer Pressure

The first step to combat peer pressure is to have a healthy respect for it. Most of us live with the delusion that we can hang around whoever we like and not have them rub off on us.

Discussion: Imagine that your little sister has begun to hang around some people who are bad news. They live for drugs, stealing and any illegal activity. You warn her to stop hanging out with them. Your sister says, "I don't agree with everything they do, but I enjoy getting with them. They accept me as I am. Just because I hang out with them doesn't mean I'll start stealing and stuff." What are some things' you'd say to her? Can you tell us some stories of people who've gotten into trouble because of peer pressure? Please don't share their names! (Write their responses on the board.)

What you're telling your sister is that peer pressure is stronger than she thinks. A fascinating scientific study demonstrated the powerful drive we have to fit in with other people.

When Everybody's Doing It

Illustration: "The Three Lines Test" (Perhaps have a student read this.)

Ten teens were brought into a room and told that their perception would be tested.  Testers held up three cards, each with three lines of different lengths.  Students were simply instructed to raise their hands when the testers pointed to the longest line. (Either copy this visual off in a large font, or draw it out on three large note cards so your students can actually see them.)

But unknown to one of the students, the other nine had been instructed to raise their hands when the second longest line was pointed to.  Are you following?  Guess what happened?  In 75% of the cases (three out of four),  "The stooge would typically glance around, frown in confusion, and slip his hand up with the group."  Even after repeating the instructions and holding up the next card, the results were the same.  (Study by Ruth W. Berenda, found in Hide or Seek, by James Dobson.) 

Discussion: Why do you think the person raised his hand, even when he knew he was wrong? What does this teach us about peer pressure? (When we think that everybody's doing something, the pressure to go with the crowd is strong.)

Where We Face Peer Pressure

Discussion: Let's list some situations where it's difficult to stand for what we think is right rather than go with the crowd. (List them on the board. If they're not coming up with anything, give them some specific areas of activity, such as "at football camp," "in the classroom," "at home," "in the neighborhood." Following are some they might list.):

• In class: It's exam week. You're not doing well in class. Everyone else is cheating.

• At lunch: Everyone makes fun of the kid who doesn't fit in.

• In the neighborhood: All your friends are smoking marijuana after school, before their parents get home.

• At the sports camp: Everyone's picking on the small guy or the slow guy.

• At the sleepover: Everyone's gossiping about about the new girl at school.

Question: If the Three Lines Test predicts our behavior in the real world, what would be the easiest road to take in each of these situations? (Follow along with everybody else, even though we know it's wrong.)

When the Pressure Gets Personal

Illustration: "A Shocking Experiment" (Perhaps have a student read this.)

A famous experiment demonstrated the power exerted when the pressure gets personal.  Stanley Milgram, a famous social psychologist, invited people from different backgrounds and occupations to participate in a study that would explore the effects of punishment on learning.  Each participant was told to deliver an electric shock when a student made a mistake on a simple learning task. Participants were told that the shocks ranged from a mere 15 volts to a dangerous 450 volts.  Voltage was to be raised each time a new error was made.  Does everyone understand?

Actually, there was no electric shock and the "students" merely acted as if they were being shocked.  Milgram explained the experiment to a group of Psychiatrists, who estimated that only one in 1000 subjects would deliver shocks all the way to 450 volts.  But they were wrong.  Almost two out of every three of the participants obeyed the experimenter, delivering shocks to the end, even though the "students" loudly protested. 

Discussion: What can we learn from this experiment? Why do you think the people kept delivering the shocks, even when the "students" were protesting about their pain?  

So how does this work in real life? It’s one thing to feel pressured by the impression that "everybody's doing it." But when they all look at you and say, “You are coming along, aren’t you?” then the pressure gets personal. And when peer pressure gets personal, it’s almost impossible for some people to resist.

Question: How do you think most students respond when someone they respect and don't want to disappoint gets in their face and urges them to do something they don't think they should do?

Conclusion: Going Against the Flow        

He who joyfully marches in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would suffice. (Albert Einstein)

How many times have we kicked ourselves for going along with something that we later regretted? Here are a couple of hints to help us stand our ground:

Step #1 - Think Through Your Non-Negotiables.

What is a non-negotiable? (Something you refuse to compromise on, no matter what.) One of the reasons we melt in the heat of the moment is that we're caught off guard. We've never decided where we stand on an issue; so that when our friends say "Let's go," we have an uneasy feeling about it, but go along anyway, and later regret it.

The solution is to sit down by yourself and ask the question, "What are my non-negotiables?"

Activity:  Write down some areas where you don't want to compromise. This could involve something you refuse to do sexually, drugs you'll never take, stealing, lying, driving irresponsibly, etc. Maybe it's things you've already done, but know you don't want to do again. Remember, I'm not telling you what to write. These are your standards that you refuse to compromise, no matter how how many people are doing it. Look over your list again tonight, after you've had a chance to think it through more thoroughly. You might even ask your parents for some input. Then, put your list in a safe place that you can look at later.

Step #2 - Practice How to Say "No".

A second reason we go along with the crowd is that we don't know how to say "No." First, we don't want to look stupid or wimpy. Second, we don't want to come across rude to our friends.

Brainstorm:

• Your friends ask you to walk to the gas station and steal a couple of cans of beer. You don't want to go. You don't want to be considered "chicken." How can you decline? (Write their best ideas on the board. Then, divide up into twos and have them practice saying the words to each other. I know it seems weird to practice this, but learning this skill could save you from tons of trouble.)

• Your friends invite you to go into the woods and smoke some marijuana with them. You don't want to go. How can you decline?

• You're driving with friends in your car on Friday night. Another friend pulls up beside you and challenges you: "Let's race to the end of the street." You know that it's dangerous and a pedestrian could be killed. What can you say?

• You're in class and someone wants to copy your paper. You don't feel right about it. How do you respond?

I challenge you to take this lesson to heart. By setting our non-negotiables and preparing for when they're challenged, we can save ourselves from tons of regrets and have the satisfying feeling that we know where we stand.

In the next lesson we'll talk about more practical ideas for resisting peer pressure.

Copyright Legacy Educational Resources, March, 2004, All rights reserved.