Home (Leave Private Section) Links to Resources Crowd Breakers Help
|
Home (Leave Private Section) Links to Resources Crowd Breakers Help |
"Truthfulness and sincerity"
(See also "Dependability," "Sportsmanship," "Honor," "Self-Control/Virtue," "Trustworthiness" )
Click-Throughs to "
Honesty" CategoriesResources on Honesty
Which Tire Was Flat?
(See skit based on this story below under "Games, etc.")
Four high school boys decided to skip their morning classes and go have some fun instead. After lunch they checked into school, reporting to their teacher that a flat tire had held them up all morning. They were relieved when their teacher smiled and said, ''Well, you missed a test this morning, so take your seats apart from one another and get out your notebooks.'' After settling into their chairs, she said, ''Now for the first question: which tire was flat?'' (From Foster Quinn)
The problem with lying is that eventually you get caught. And after you've been caught, even if it's only once, it's extremely difficult for people to ever trust you again. So this week, let's try to catch our selves when we're tempted to lie, or even just to "stretch the truth" a little. Then ask yourself, "Is it really worth it?"
Discussion Questions
1) How did the four boys get into trouble?
2) When you realize that someone has lied to you, how does that affect your
relationship with that person?
3) When you catch someone in a lie, can you ever really trust that person again?
4) Why is it so tempting to lie?
5) How can we become more honest?
The Introduction Wasn't Quite Accurate
A speaker told this story following a very generous introduction:
Sometimes I feel like the man who was introduced as a gifted businessman who made a million dollars in Texas oil.
When this speaker rose, he was a bit embarrassed. He said, ''The facts he reported were essentially correct but it wasn't oil…it was coal, and it wasn't Texas…it was California, and it wasn't a million…it was only a hundred thousand. Also, it wasn't me…it was my brother, and he didn't make it…. he lost it.''
It's so tempting to embellish stories to make them either more dramatic or funnier than they actually were. I guess it feeds our ego when we can wow people with our exciting stories. But eventually, people seem to figure out that our whopper stories aren't quite accurate. Then, whenever you have a truly great story to share that really happened, nobody believes it. This week, let's try to not only tell stories that really happened, but to get the details right. Then people will believe us when we have a story we really want them to believe.
Discussion Questions
1) Do you think the speaker's story was true, or made up?
2) Once you hear a speaker tell one story that seems unbelievable, how does that
impact the rest of his message?
3) When a fellow student always has a dramatic personal story to top everyone
else's story, do you start to question his or her honesty?
4) What can motivate us to be more honest?
Clip: Try a clip from the movie Liar, Liar, starring Jim Carrey, perhaps where the mother and her son are talking about why he isn't going to show up for the son's birthday as promised. Talk about how students have been let down when people didn't come through for them and the impact of unreliability and dishonesty.
Dishonesty Hurts: Activity for Second Grade Class
Ask your students to share about some times that people were not honest with them - fuel their thinking with examples such as "a relative said she'd do something with you, but didn't come through" "...would take you somewhere fun, but didn't," "a friend said they'd meet you on the playground but didn't." Then, get them to share their stories, and how it felt that the people didn't come through.
Explain that "this is how dishonesty feels when someone is dishonest with us. On your sheet of paper, draw a picture of a time that someone let you down, or imagine how you'd feel if someone let you down, and draw a picture of the situation - a drawing of you on the playground, left alone, or bored at home because someone didn't take you somewhere, etc."
After they've drawn it, say, "can some of you show us what you drew and tell us about it?" After each one, say something like, "dishonesty hurts, doesn't it?"
At the end, say, "we all know what it feels to be lied to, or for people to be dishonest with us. It hurts. What should that make us feel about dishonesty?" (It hurts people, and we wouldn't want to make others feel that way.")
Activity: Trivial Cheating
Get 6 volunteers from the class for a trivia contest, three against three. Send the six into the hall to wait while the class comes up with the questions. While they are outside, tell the class that we've given the answers to the three that will be closest to the class.
At first, the "cheaters" will be subtle about knowing the answers. After the second question, someone in the class slyly passes them a sheet of paper. Next, whispering starts occurring from friends in the class to that team. One "cheating" contestant may answer the question even before the question was completed. As the other team begins to see the cheating, someone will probably start complaining. Slightly reprimand the cheating team, telling them not to do it anymore. But go to one more question, which they obviously cheat on. Then, award them the prize.
(If someone starts to get too heated, stop the game.) After the game, tell the good team that it was a set-up. Ask them how they felt when they realized the other team was cheating. Redistribute the prizes to everyone.
Debriefing: How many of you have competed against others that you discovered were cheating? How did you feel? Is it ever really right to cheat? What can happen if we get caught? What can happen if we get away with it and it becomes a life habit?
Here are some example trivia questions to use:
Who was the author of the great philosophical work, Critique of Pure
Reason? (Answer: Immanuel Kant)
Band that in the late 1960's recorded the hit song, "Born to be Wild."
(Answer: Steppenwolf)
Who was the founder of Psycho-Analysis? (Answer: Sigmund Freud)
Name a six-letter word which has its letters in alphabetical order. (Answer:
ACCEPT)
Name four countries that have only one syllable to their names. (Answer: Chad,
France, Greece, Spain)
Three panda's were trying to find the pieces of a pyramid of power in which
cartoon? (Answer: Pandamonium)
Advertising the Weird
Divide into groups of 8 to 10. Give each group an object. Instruct them that their task will be to try to sell the object to the class for a use other than that for which it was intended. Give them an example by holding up a pencil and advertising it in this way:
"Here's something that everybody needs. For the low, low price of $4.99 you can have your very own ear-wax removal kit! First, put a little hydrogen peroxide on the flat end and place it in your ear. Wait five minutes and use the lead end to pick out the pieces of wax. Finally, lay the pencil on its side and carefully line up each piece of earwax on the pencil so that you have a nifty display to show off your great accomplishment to your little brother or sister."
Give each group a couple of minutes to discuss what they want to sell their object as and how they will try to sell it to the class. Then, let each group do their presentation.
Debriefing: Often it seems that the job of advertisers is to make products look better than they really are. What are some of the techniques that each group used to try to make their product seem attractive? What are other techniques advertisers use? If you were in advertising, what moral dilemmas might you face, and how might you handle them?
Variation of this game: Give each team an obscure object that they may or may not know the real use for. See how many people in the class they can fool by either telling the real use or a made up use.
To Tell The Truth
Some time during the week before the class, talk to some outgoing students about some of the interesting or dramatic or odd or embarrassing things they've done. They must be incidents that nobody else in the class would know about. Pick a couple of those incidents.
During character education time, have the students come to the front and sit facing the class. You as the leader describe the incident that took place and tell the class that it happened to one of these people. The class is to question each individual to try to figure out which one actually did it.
Debriefing: Why do people lie? What techniques do liars use? How do liars often eventually get caught in their lies? How does lying hurt us once we're caught?
SKIT: Which Tire Was Flat? (5th/6th Grade Version)
School hallway and classroom. If you wish, you can use either an entire classroom of students and a teacher, or only four students and a teacher.
Dialogue:
Chad (laughing as he walks down the hall with another guy and two girls): "Yesterday was soooo fun: playing video games and watching movies last night sure beat finishing that boring science project!
Monique (Laughing, but then turning serious, pulling them all aside): "No kidding! But now we’ve got to get our excuse straight, so that Mrs. Williams will believe us and give us through the weekend to finish the project."
Billy: "Right! So we tell her that after school yesterday, mom had a flat tire on the way home. We all got out and tried to help put on the spare..."
Hannah: "...but they had to tow the car to a repair shop and we forgot that the project was in the trunk! The car won’t be fixed until tomorrow."
(All four give each other a high five and then walk into class.)
Mrs. Williams (With a friendly smile): "Welcome to class! You’re a little late, but...where is your group project?"
Billy (looking at the other students to make sure he gets it right): "So after school yesterday, mom had a flat tire on the way home. We all got out and tried to help put on the spare..."
Hannah: "...but they had to tow the car to a repair shop and we forgot the project was in the trunk! The car won’t be fixed till tomorrow."
(Mrs. Williams looks at Monique, with a questioning look on her face.)
Monique (nodding her head): "That’s right."
(Other students in the class are rolling their eyes in disbelief.)
Chad: "So...could we have the weekend to finish it?"
Mrs. Williams: "Maybe...but first, I’d like you to take a quick pop quiz. Could you please take a seat in each corner of the class?"
All four students (with concerned looks on their faces): Sure, Mrs. Williams.
Mrs. Williams: "Now, for the first question – which tire was flat?"
All four students (looking at each other with wide eyes and pulling their hair): "Oh! Nooo!"
All other students (in unison): "Wooooooo!!!!"
Narrator: The problem with lying is that eventually we get caught. And after we've been caught, even if it's only once, it's extremely difficult for people to ever trust us again. So this week, let's try to catch ourselves when we're tempted to lie, or even just to "stretch the truth" a little. Let’s ask ourselves: "Is it really worth it?"
Discussion Questions for Each Classroom
1) How did the four students get into trouble?
2) When you realize that someone has lied to you, how does that affect your
relationship with that person?
3) When you catch someone in a lie, can you ever really trust that person
again?
4) Why is it so tempting to lie?
5) How can we become more honest?
To Find Peace of Mind and Keep From Having Regrets
Country Music sensation Garth Brooks says that his music is a gift from God. It comes to him easily and he loves it. But according to Brooks, ''Now I'm finding that it's not the most important thing in my life. When I look in the mirror, I see a guy full of flaws. I see the promises he made that he hasn't kept, and I know it's time he kept them.'' (Rader, Dotson, ''Why He's Coming Home'' Parade Magazine, December 16, 2001, p. 4-5.)
**********************
Since making a commitment to be honest, I’ve known an inner peace that I would have thought impossible. Honesty has a built-in reward: a mind at peace with itself. If there were no other reasons to be honest, this alone would be enough. (Urban, Hal, Life’s Greatest Lessons or 20 Things I Want My Kids to Know, Great Lessons Press, Redwood City, CA, 1997)
**********************
You’ll never know
peace of mind and you’ll never enjoy feelings of self-worth unless
truthfulness is deeply imbedded in your character. If you don’t learn anything
else from reading this book, it’s my most sincere wish and most fervent prayer
that you understand this great truth: honesty always was, is now, and always
will be, the best policy. (Urban, Hal, Life’s Greatest Lessons or 20 Things
I Want My Kids to Know, Great Lessons Press, Redwood City, CA, 1997)
Because All of Us Fight the Tendency to Lie
A clergyman was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between ten and twelve years of age.
The group surrounded a dog. Concerned that the boys were hurting the dog, he went over and asked, ''What are you doing with that dog?''
One of the boys replied, ''This dog is just an old neighborhood stray. We all want him, but only one of us can take him home. So we've decided that whichever one of us can tell the biggest lie will get to keep the dog.''
Of course, the reverend was taken aback. ''You boys shouldn't be having a contest telling lies!'' he exclaimed. He then launched into a ten-minute sermon about lying, starting with,
''Don't you boys know it's a sin to lie?'' and ending up with, ''Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie.''
There was dead silence. Just as the Reverend was beginning to think he'd gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh and said, ''All right, give him the dog.''
**********************
In order to be true to yourself
This
above all, to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
(Shakespeare)
Because Sometimes Our Society Rewards Lying
A young man applied for a job at an ad agency. He was told, ''Your resume is fill of distortions, half-truths, and bald lies. Welcome aboard!''
**********************
Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get money from it. (Stephen Leacock)
**********************
Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice Doggy' until you can find a rock.
Because Lying Hurts Us In the End
''No man has a good enough memory to make a successful liar.'' -- Abraham Lincoln
**********************
''The trouble with stretching the truth is people are apt to see through it.''
**********************
I heard of a used-car salesman who had milked the local farmers repeatedly with shady dealings. Then one day, the car dealer informed a farmer that he was coming around to buy a cow. The farmer attached the following price information to the cow:
Basic Cow $500.00
Two-toned exterior $45.00
Extra stomach $75.00
Product- storing equipment $60.00
Straw-chopper $40.00
Four spigots @ $30.00 each $120.00
Cowhide upholstery $125.00
Dual horns $15.00
Automatic fly swatter $38.00
Fertilizer attachment $185.00
-------------
TOTAL $ 1,203.00
(From the collection of Barry St. Clair)
**********************
Four high shool boys decided to skip their morning classes and go have some fun instead. After lunch they checked into school, reporting to their teacher that a flat tire had held them up all morning. They were relieved when their teacher smiled and said, ''Well, you missed a test this morning, so take your seats apart from one another and get out your notebooks.'' After settling into their chairs, she said, ''Now for the first question: which tire was flat?'' (From Foster Quinn)
Because Cheating and Lying are Rampant
In a 1995 article for Reader's Digest, Daniel R. Levine notes that Who's Who Among American High School Students polled more than 3,000 high school juniors and senior who were at the top of their class. 78% admitted cheating and 89% admitted cheating was common at their schools.
In another survey, Stephen F. Davis found that 76% had cheated. He commented, ''The numbers alone are disturbing, but even more alarming is the attitude. There's no remorse. For students, cheating is a way of life.''
**********************
''More than 95% of college graduates entering the job market in 1997 say they are willing to tell at least one lie to get a job. 41% of the respondents admitted they had already lied when applying for a job.'' (Ried Psychological Systems)
**********************
A study by Rutgers University found over 70% of all university students admitting to cheating at least once. Most common was plagiarism. (Current Thoughts and Trends, 3-92)
**********************
Percentage of fast-food restaurant employees who say they have stolen food or money from their employer: 62.
Because Money Tempts Us to Lie
Three contractors were visiting a tourist attraction on the same day. One was from New York, another from Texas, and the third from Florida. At the end of the tour, the guard asked them what they did for a living. When they all replied that they were contractors, the guard said, ''Hey, we need one of the rear
fences redone. Why don't you guys take a look at it and give me a bid?'' So, to the back fence they all went to check it out.First to step up was the Florida contractor. He took out his tape measure and pencil, did some measuring and said, ''Well I figure the job will run about $900. $400 for materials, $400 for my crew, and $100 profit for me.''
Next was the Texas contractor. He also took out his tape measure and pencil, did some quick figuring and said, ''Looks like I can do this job for $700. $300 for materials, $300 for my crew, and $100 profit for me.''
Without so much as moving, the New York contractor said, ''$2,700.''
The guard, incredulous, looked at him and said, ''You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?''
''Easy,'' he said. ''$1,000 for me, $1,000 for you and we hire the guy from Texas.''
Because Lies Do More Damage Than We First Think
One of the striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.
(Mark Twain)**********************
A lie goes half way around the world before the
truth can get
its pants on. (Winston Churchill)
Because Our Search For Truth is Never in Vain
On the mountains of truth you can never climb in vain: either you will reach a point higher up today, or you will be training your powers so that you will be able to climb higher tomorrow.
Because the Nature of News Gives Unbalanced Truth
Fact that is fact every day is not news; it's truth. We report news, not truth. (Linda Ellerbee)
Because Honesty's Essential to Successful Leadership
The supreme quality for a leader is unquestionably integrity. (Dwight D. Eisenhower, former American President)
**********************
A true leader has the confidence to stand alone, the courage to make tough decisions, and the compassion to listen to the needs of others. He does not set out to be a leader, but becomes one by the quality of his actions and the integrity of his intent. In the end, leaders are much like eagles...they don't flock, you find them one at a time. (Found at http://www.successories.com/)
**********************
If I could pass on only one thing to my own sons and other young people, it would be this: If you genuinely want to succeed in life, honesty isn’t just the best policy, it’s the only policy. (Urban, Hal, Life’s Greatest Lessons or 20 Things I Want My Kids to Know, Great Lessons Press, Redwood City, CA, 1997)
Because It's Easy to Stretch the Truth
A speaker gave told this story following a very generous introduction:
Sometimes I feel like the man who was introduced as a gifted businessman who made a million dollars in Texas oil.''
When this speaker rose, he was a bit embarrassed. He said, ''The facts he reported were essentially correct but it wasn't oil…it was coal, and it wasn't Texas…it was California, and it wasn't a million…it was only a hundred thousand. Also, it wasn't me…it was my brother, and he didn't make it…. he lost it.''
I fear that this is often the case with a lot of stories we tell as speakers. The stories have been altered to make them more powerful.
Because It's Essential for Lasting Relationships
Honesty is the best policy in international relations, interpersonal relations, labor, business, education, family and crime control because truth is the only thing that works and the only foundation on which lasting relations can build. (Ramsey Clark)
Decide That You Want the Real Thing
Truth never plays false roles of any kind, which is why people are so surprised when meeting it. Everyone must decide whether he wants the uncompromising truth or a counterfeit version of truth. Real wisdom consists of recommending the truth to yourself at every opportunity.
(Vernon Howard)Don't Take the Line of Least Resistance
The line of least resistance makes crooked rivers and crooked men. Bob Murphey, humorist
Need more resources on "Honesty"? See also our related categories: "Dependability," "Sportsmanship," "Honor," "Self-Control/Virtue," "Trustworthiness" .