Home (Leave Private Section)  Links to Resources   Crowd Breakers   Help 

Trustworthiness
"Worthy of confidence; reliable" 

(See also Honesty, Loyalty/Dependability, Punctuality.)

Intercom Insights

One way to lose people's trust is to be be dogmatic in all your opinions. In other words, if I say something very definitely, but then I'm found out to be wrong, people begin to question everything else I say. I lose their respect. 

When leaders and authorities state all their opinions very definitely, they can get into trouble quickly, sometimes ending up looking pretty foolish. Here are some stupid things that authorities said with a little too much assurance:

(For over 300 pages of such ''expert advise,'' see The Experts Speak: The Definitive Compendium of Authoritative Misinformation, by Christopher Cerf and Victor Navasky, 1984.)

This week, I'm going to try to limit my definite statements to things I'm really sure about. I don't want to look foolish tomorrow for something I said wrong today. Rather than saying, "Your music stinks," I'll try to say, "I don't personally like that style."  It's hard to learn, but I think it will make me more trustworthy in the long run. Will you join me in being a little less definite on subjects I'm not really certain about?

Discussion Questions

1) What do you think of people who always state their opinions dogmatically, even on issues where there's no way they could be absolutely certain?
2) Why do you think the record company people said, after hearing "The Beatles," ''We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.''?
3) What could have kept the record company from making this tragic mistake? (They could have asked other people what they thought of their music. They could have been less dogmatic about guitar music going out, something they had no way of knowing for sure.)
4) Why do you think we are so tempted to state uncertain things with too much certainty?
5) How does this hurt our reputation for being trustworthy?
6) What's one or more areas in which you should express youself with a little less certainty?  

**********************

Harry Emerson Fosdick once said, "No virtue is more universally accepted as a test of good character than trustworthiness." That's quite a statement. If he's right, I wonder why people would judge our entire character based on just one trait - our trustworthiness? 

Perhaps it's because when we get burnt once by someone, we're not likely to risk being burnt again. If someone tells me they'll pick me up at 2:00 and I'm left sitting there waiting on them, I feel cheated of my time and devalued. If they don't come up with a good excuse for not coming through, I'm likely to question anything else they tell me. 

I'd like to be known as a successful leader. One of the experts on leadership, Warren Benis, says that one of the main characteristics of an effective leader is, 

They are capable of developing and sustaining deep and trusting relationships. They seem to be constant, caring and authentic with other people.

In other words, people will want to follow me if they consider me worthy of my trust. 

It's so easy to tell people we'll do things that we never come through with. This week, I want to concentrate on doing what I say I'm going to do, when I say I'm going to do it. Will you work on that with me? Only then can people begin to trust us. Only then can we develop into leaders that others want to follow.

Discussion Questions

1. Why do you think Harry Emerson Fosdick said, "No virtue is more universally accepted as a test of good character than trustworthiness."
2. Do you agree with that statement? Why or why not?
3. Why do you think trustworthiness is an important quality for leaders?
4. What are the main ways that that you see people being untrustworthy? 
5. How do you feel when a person doesn't prove trustworthy to you, like if they let you down or don't come through with what they promised? 
6. What makes it difficult for us to be trustworthy?
7. Can you write down one area that you will strive to be trustworthy in this week?

Activities

Trust Fall

Divide into groups of at least 7. One student stands on a chair while the others stand behind to catch the student as he or she falls.  The person falling faces away from the group as he or she falls backward, trusting that the group will catch him or her. 

Catchers should be in teams of two standing across from each other, with hands securely grasping each other's wrists. Let the students know the seriousness of this game so that the people do not get hurt. Rotate the group so that each person gets a chance to fall. 

Debriefing: Why is important to learn to trust people? Is everyone worthy of our trust? How can we know whom to trust? 

Learning to Lean

Divide into groups of 6 or 8 - it must be an even number. Ask each group to stand in a circle holding hands and count off in order, one, two, one, two. Instruct the students: "When I say 'Go!' all the even numbered students lean forward while the odd students lean back. Keep holding hands so that you'll support each other from falling." Say "Go!" again and ask the even numbers to lean back while the odd numbers lean forward. 

Debriefing - Great successes in business or sports speak of the awesome power of synergy - when two or more people dream together and work together in pursuit of a goal. In order to experience synergy, you have to learn to trust each other and support each other. Gather loyal people around you and watch how much you can accomplish together. 

Other Illustrations, Quotes and Stories

A young sentry, on guard duty for the first time, had orders not to admit any car unless it had a special identification seal. The first unmarked car the sentry stopped contained a general. When the officer told his driver to go right on through, the sentry politely said, ''I'm new at this sir. Who do I shoot first, you or the driver?'' (Source: Joe Griffith, Speaker's Library of Business Quotes)

**********************

Two men were fishing in a trout stream in North Georgia. One was experienced and the other obviously struggling with how to cast his rod. The experienced fisherman said, "Let me see your rod and I'll give you a lesson or two." After a few minutes of fooling around with it, he gave it back, only to have it fall apart in the newcomer's hand. "Let that be your first lesson," said the experienced fisherman. "Don't ever let anybody fool with your equipment."

**********************

Integrity is keeping my commitments even if the circumstances when I made those commitments have changed. (David Jeremiah)

**********************

No virtue is more universally accepted as a test of good character than trustworthiness. (Harry Emerson Fosdick)

**********************

Few things help an individual more than to place responsibility upon him, and to let him know that you trust him. (Booker T. Washington)

**********************

Warren Buffett, America's most successful investor, advised hiring only people you can trust:  

''Somebody once said that in looking for people to hire, you look for three qualities: integrity, intelligence, and energy. And if they don't have the first, the other two will kill you.'' (Warren Buffet, from Omaha World Herald, February 1, 1994)

**********************

Don't ever blindly follow the supposed authorities of your day. Not every opinion is trustworthy.

Look how these authorities missed it.

(For over 300 pages of such ''expert advise,'' see The Experts Speak: The Definitive Compendium of Authoritative Misinformation, by Christopher Cerf and Victor Navasky, 1984.)

**********************

Leadership guru Warren Benis shares five characteristics of effective leaders:

1. They have a strong sense of purpose, a passion, a conviction, a sense of wanting to do something important to make a difference.

2. They are capable of developing and sustaining deep and trusting relationships. They seem to be constant, caring and authentic with other people.

3. They are purveyors of hope and have positive illusions about reality.

4. They have a balance in their lives between work, power, and family or outside activities. They do not tie up all of their self-esteem in their position.

5. They have a bias toward action and while not reckless, they do not resist taking risks. (From the collection of Barry St. Clair)

Not finding what you need for the topic "Trustworthiness?" See also our related categories: Honesty, Loyalty/Dependability, Punctuality .