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Authority 

"Respect for those individuals who are in positions of responsibility, 
using proper etiquette in relation to them." 

(See also related themes: Courtesy/Civility, Democracy, Accountability and Patriotism. )

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Intercom Insights

Even Ozzy Respects His Parents

(Many youth consider only what they can get out of their parents or authorities, never what they can give back to them. This illustration helps them see the need to give back.) 

Ozzy Osborne is the wild and crazy guy who for years defined the rebellious side of rock. He's the guy who  bit the head off a bat at a concert. His first successful band was called Black Sabbath. Given the amount of drugs he's consumed, it's a miracle that he's still alive. Ozzy's such a wild man that it would be hard to startle me with any of his bizarre behavior. But one incident did startle me. 

Ozzy lived on (and over) the edge from his childhood on. He even had to serve time in prison as a teen for theft. His parents were poor and although they worked hard, they could hardly make ends meet. Ozzy's shoes wore out and he often went to band practices barefoot. He didn't even have money for underwear. Ozzy wanted more out of life and saw music as his chance to get a life.

After playing with a couple of bands that went nowhere, he joined with the band that became ''Black Sabbath.'' His take home money for cutting the first album was a mere $72.50. Now think with me for a minute. Imagine that you're Ozzy Osborne, wild and crazy guy, hot on the track to make it big. What would you do with that money? Buy drugs? Upgrade some equipment? Buy an outrageous outfit? Buy some underwear?

Here's what he did with his $72.50, which in 1970 would have gone a lot further than today. He bought for himself a decent pair of shoes and his first bottle of aftershave lotion. Then, he went home and ''proudly handed the rest of the money over to his tearful and proud mother.'' You see, for all Ozzy's wild and crazy qualities, he really cared for his parents and wanted to help them. Although they were far from perfect parents, he honored them and wanted to please them.

My point? Although on stage and in many of his antics Ozzy was a major symbol of flipping his finger against authority, in real life he realized what his parents had given him and wanted to give back to them. What have you done this week to honor your parents or teachers? Have you ever offered your parents a portion of your paycheck? I know, I know - both your teachers and parents aren't perfect, some by a long shot. But still, they're people with feelings. Do you ever ask your parents or teachers how their day went or how you could make their lives easier by helping out? Don't let Ozzy outdo you! (Facts taken from Ozzy Unauthorized, by Sue Crawford, Michael O-Mara Books Limited, 2002, London, p. 44. Written by Steve Miller, copyright August 15, 2002. All rights reserved.)

Small Group Reflections:

1) What are some of the craziest incidents you've heard of from Ozzy's life?
2) Why do you think he felt the need to honor his parents?
3) Why do you think most students seem to take their parents and teachers for granted?
4) What are some specific ways we could honor our parents and teachers?

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(The truth of the following story, in a similar form, has been questioned and we can't find an accurate source. Thus, I'd introduce it as, "I once heard a story about...." This demonstrates our respect for truth.) 

I once heard a story about a fascinating exchange at sea. As to the authenticity of this event, I'm uncertain. One night at sea, a ship's captain saw what he thought were the lights of another ship heading toward him. He had his signalman blink to the other ship. ''Change your course 10 degrees south.''

The reply came back, ''Change your course 10 degrees north.''

The ship's captain answered, ''I am a captain. Change your course south.''

Another reply came back, ''Well, I'm a seaman first class. Change your course north.''

The captain was mad now. ''I said change your course south. I'm on a battleship.''

To which the reply came back, ''And I say change your course north. I'm in a lighthouse.''

The Point? All of us must deal with authorities. Some grant us drivers' licenses. Others take our taxes. Still others pull us over on the highways when we speed. Although we may be smarter than some of our authorities or think that any given one of them may be unworthy of our respect, sometimes we have to simply respect them for their position and consider that the powers above them may have reasons for the laws they're enforcing that we don't know about. Today, let's try to show some respect for our authorities, especially the ones we have the hardest time getting along with.

Small Group Reflections:

1) Why do we often find it difficult to respect authorities?
2) How can we still have respect for authorities who really grate at our nerves? Can we have a respect for their position although we have problems with their personalities and some of their decisions?
3) Is there ever a time when it's okay to disobey an authority? What would be such a time? (E.g., when they ask us to do something we know to be wrong.)
4) What steps could be taken before we disobey an authority? (E.g., try to work out a creative compromise to both avoid doing the wrong but satisfying the authority's wishes.)  

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Benny Mardones was a successful songwriter and singer who exploded onto the music scene in the 80's, especially known for his song, ''Into the Night.'' He sent radio personality "Delilah" a story of how an event in his life forever changed his attitude towards authorities.

At eighteen years of age, Mardones' dreams of rock and roll stardom had to wait until he got out of the military. Stationed in Europe aboard the USS Springfield, he had a terrible attitude toward authority. In his own words,

''…I was anti-authority. I grew up hanging on street corners and thought of myself as a tough guy. Nobody told me what to do. Well, as you can imagine, I was always in trouble or on report for insubordination. Even when I obeyed an order, it was with an attitude.''

One morning Chief Sullivan and the ship's chaplain told him the bad news that his grandfather had died the night before. They were giving him emergency leave to be with the family and perhaps make the funeral. He couldn't believe it! His grandad had been like a father to him, a tough man who gave stability to his world, the patriarch of his family. He simply couldn't die.

Desperately wanting to see his grandfather's body before they buried him, he flew to Italy to catch a flight to the USA. His attitude continued to sour. He was thinking,

''The navy sucks! I ain't never taking another order, ever. If it wasn't for the navy, I'd have been home and Grandpa somehow would still be alive.''

Then a petty officer told him, ''Seaman Mardones, you've been bumped off your MATS flight – officers from NATO headquarters flying out to Washington. Sorry, we'll try to get you out tomorrow.''

At that point, he emotionally snapped. He yelled, ''My grandpa's dead. I gotta see him. Please!'' But the petty officer replied that there was nothing he could do. Hopeless, Mardones sat down by his duffel bag and started crying.

But an officer heard of his plight and gave up his seat for him. Mardones first stammered, then unashamedly hugged the officer. Although the other officers looked rather stunned, the sacrificing officer hugged him back and said, ''Good luck, son.''

Because of this authority, Mardones made the funeral, which helped bring closure to his significant relationship with his grandfather. This totally changed Mardones' attitude towards authorities. In his own words, ''I never looked at officers or people in positions of authority the same ever again.'' (Written by Steve Miller, copyright April, 2003. Source: Love Someone Today : Encouragement and Inspiration for the Times of Our Lives by Delilah, Fireside; (May 2001), pp. 159-161

It took a remarkable circumstance for Mardones to learn a profound truth: authorities are people. Teachers and parents have good days and bad days. They try to love and sometimes fail. They need encouragement and are dependant upon you to know that they're appreciated and that others care for them. Have you come to realize that you're authorities are people? What could you do to show them your appreciation and to encourage them?

Small Group Reflections:

1) Why do you think Benny Mardones had such a bad attitude toward authorities?
2) What happened to soften his attitude?
3) How do you think most teens feel about their authorities?
4) What are some things that can help soften our hard feelings toward authorities?

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One Liners

Use this as a discussion starter to ask how adults tend to view teens:

There are three ways to get things done: Do it yourself, hire someone, or absolutely forbid your kids to do it. (E.E. Cummings)

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There is no such thing as a life without authority. You can choose the game, but you can't choose the rules. (from Halftime p. 155; from file of Barry St. Clair)

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To punish me for my contempt for authority, fate made me an authority myself. (Albert Einstein)

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"To me, Satan ultimately represents rebellion. Lucifer was the angel that was kicked out of heaven because he wanted to be God. To me, what greater character to identify with?" (Shock-rocker Marilyn Manson, from interview with Anthony DeCurtis)

Funny Stuff

Discussion starter: Why do you think many parents view teens this way?

CATS & TEENAGERS

For all of you with teenagers or who have had teenagers, you may want to know why they really have a lot in common with cats:

1. Neither teenagers nor cats turn their heads when you call them by name.

2. No matter what you do for them, it is not enough. Indeed, all humane efforts are barely adequate to compensate for the privilege of waiting on them hand and foot.

3. You rarely see a cat walking outside of the house with an adult human being, and it can be safely said that no teenager in his or her right mind wants to be seen in public with his or her parents.

4. Even if you tell jokes as well as Jay Leno, neither your cat nor your teen will ever crack a smile.

5. No cat or teenager shares your taste in music.

6. Cats and teenagers can lie on the living-room sofa for hours on end without moving, barely breathing.

7. Cats have nine lives. Teenagers carry on as if they did.

8. Cats and teenagers yawn in exactly the same manner, communicating that ultimate human ecstasy -- a sense of complete and utter boredom.

9. Cats and teenagers do not improve anyone's furniture.

10. Cats that are free to roam outside sometimes have been known to return in the middle of the night to deposit a dead animal in your bedroom. Teenagers are not above that sort of behavior.

Thus, if you must raise teenagers, the best sources of advice are not other parents, but veterinarians. It is also a good idea to keep a guidebook on cats at hand at all times. And remember, above all else, put out the food and do not make any sudden moves in their direction. When they make up their minds, they will finally come to you for some affection and comfort, and it will be a triumphant moment for all concerned. (Source not found, from the collection of Barry St. Clair)

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We need to be careful to treat all people with respect. This can come in handy, as was found out by a big burly fellow who entered a bar and started talking to the bartender.

Big man: ''I see by the sign in your window you're looking for a bouncer. Ya fill the job yet?

Bartender: Not yet. You had any experience?

Big man: No, but watch this! He walked over to a loudmouthed drunk in the back of the tavern, lifted him off his feat, and threw him sprawling into the street.

Big man: How's that?

Bartender: Great! But you'll have to ask the boss about a job. I just work here.

Big man: Okay, where is he?

Bartender: Just coming back in the front door.

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Most students take their parents and other authorities for granted, resulting in disrespect. Use this story to let students know what their parents went through for them. (Idea: scan a couple of hilarious pictures from Dave Barry's book, "Baby's and Other Hazards of Sex" to put on Powerpoint and give them visuals.)

If you understood all your parents have gone through to raise you, you'd probably give your parents more respect. Here's part of the lifestyle change that happened to your parents once you came into their lives. As single people, your parents valued personal cleanliness. But caring for you was nasty business. To understand the reason for this, I need to teach you some basics of baby anatomy.

Not requiring a large brain for such functions as crying and sleeping, the cranial cavity is primary filled with a large drool gland, which excretes a small but regular flow of warm liquid onto the face of the baby and the shoulder of the carrier. Depending on the makeup of the liquid, parents will always sport a white or yellow stain, prominently displayed at shoulder height on your best shirts or dresses.

Since infants are relatively immobile (except when they locate dangerous or disgusting objects on a floor), their muscles are not yet developed. In their place, a large, remarkably active intestine wraps throughout their bodies, depositing regular piles of poop in their diapers. The parent then changes the diaper, washing it out by hand in the nearest toilet. I never handled poop until I had a baby. I never smelled like poop till I had a baby.

Besides the drool gland and intestines, another large organ possessed by babies is the set of vocal chords. By some mysterious instinct babies sense when parents have just sat down for a meal, to read a paper, or to drift off to sleep. At that point, they automatically cry at one of their two possible volumes -- louder or loudest. I could go on. But you get the idea.

Don't get me wrong. Babies are wonderful. But, unlike dolls, they demand constant attention and you can't put them away in a drawer when you want to play with something else. (Some of these ideas came from the book: ''Babies and Other Hazards of Sex,'' by Dave Barry) © Copyright 2002 Steve Miller - All Rights Reserved)

Games and Activities

Game: Bringing Together the Generations

Purpose: Show each generation that they really need each other, by playing a game where knowledge from both generations is needed. 

Tweek this quiz to where it has some questions that your youth (you know some of their interests) would know the answers to and some that adults (1970's questions if you grew up in the 70's, 80's if the 80's, etc. The below questions are best for adults who grew up in the 60's) would know the answers to. Then, divide the class in two, having at least one adult in each group.)

Hint: If your questions for the adults are too obscure for them to get, you miss the object of the game!

1. Name the 4 Beatles.

_________________

_________________

_________________

_________________

2. Finish the line: ''Lions and Tigers and Bears, ______ _____!''

3. ''Hey kids, what time is it?'' _____ ______ _____ _____.

4. What do M&M's do? ___ ___ ___ ___, ____ ____ ____ ____

5. What helps build strong bodies 12 ways?______ _______.

6. Long before he was Mohammed Ali, we knew him as _______ ______.

7. You'll wonder where the yellow went, ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____.''

8. Post-baby boomers know Bob Denver as the Skipper's ''little buddy.''But we know that Bob Denver is actually Dobie's closest friend,

_____ G._____.

9. M-I-C, .... See ya' real soon, .... K-E-Y, _____? ____ _____ _____ _____!

10. ''Brylcream: ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ _____.''

11. Bob Dylan advised us never to trust anyone _____ _____.

12. From the early days of our music, real rock 'n roll, finish this line:

''I wonder, wonder, wonder...wonder who ____ ______ _____ _____ _____ ____?''

13. And while we're remembering rock n' roll, try this one:

''War...uh-huh, huh, ...yea; what is it good for? , ____ _____.''

14. Meanwhile, back home in Metropolis, Superman fights a never-ending battle for truth, justice, and _____ ____ _____.

15. He came out of the University of Alabama, and became one of the best quarterbacks in the history of the NFL. He later went on

to appear in a television commercial wearing women's stockings.

He is Broadway _____ _______.

16. ''I'm Popeye the sailor man; I'm Popeye the sailor man.I'm strong to the finish, ____ _____ ____ ___ ______, .... I'm Popeye the sailor man.''

17. Your children probably recall that Peter Pan was recently played by Robin Williams, but we will always remember when Peter

was played by ______ _______.

18. In a movie from the late sixties, Paul Newman played Luke,a ne'er do well who was sent to a prison camp for cutting off

the heads of parking meters with a pipe cutter. When he was captured after an unsuccessful attempt to escape, the camp commander(played by Strother Martin) used this experience as a lesson for the other prisoners, and explained, ''What we have here, ____ ____ ____ ____ ____.''

19. In 1962, a dejected politician chastised the press after losing a race for governor while announcing his retirement from politics. ''Just think, you won't have ____ ____ to kick around anymore.''

20. ''Every morning, at the mine, you could see him arrive; He stood six foot, six, weighed 245. Kinda' broad at the shoulder, and narrow at the hip, and everybody knew you didn't give no lip to _____ _____, _____ _____ _____.''

21. ''I found my thrill, _____ _____ _____.''

22. ________ ________ said, ''Good night, Mrs. Calabash, _____ _____ ____.''

23. ''Good night, David.'' ''_____ ______,______.''

24. ''Liar, liar, ____ ____ _____.''

25. ''When it's least expected, you're elected. You're the star today.

_______! _____ ______ ______ ______.''

26. It was Pogo, the comic strip character, who said, ''We have met the enemy, and ____ ___ ____.''

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General 

Choose a couple of these quotes and read them to your class as if it were written today. Then ask ''When do you think these were written?''

• ''Our earth is degenerate these days; there are signs that the world is speedily coming to an end; bribery and corruption are common; children no longer obey their parents; and the end of the world is evidently approaching.'' (Found carved on an Assyrian stone tabled dated 2800 B.C.) (Morality and Youth, by F. Philip Rice, p. 15.)
• ''It seems that young people have taken the bit between their teeth and are running wild. They are wholly contemptuous of the traditional controls…. Fond parents, maiden aunts, all the amateur censors of morals are at their wits' end…and the end is not in sight…. The elders of today are convinced that no age…has had on its hands such a problem of reckless and rebellious youth.'' (Century Magazine, 1921) (Found in Rice, p. 15)
• ''Youth today love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority, no respect for older people, and talk nonsense when they should work. Young people do not stand up any longer when adults enter the room. They contradict their parents, talk too much in company, guzzle their food, lay their legs on the table, and tyrannize their elders.'' (Socrates, lived 469?-399 BC) (Found in Parents as Partners in Youth Ministry, by Darrell Pearson, pp. 7,8)
• ''The world is passing through troublous times. The young people of today think of nothing but themselves. They have no reverence for parents or old age. They are impatient of all restraint. They talk as if they knew everything, and what passes for wisdom with us is foolishness with them. As for the girls, they are forward and immodest, and unwomanly, in speech, behavior, and dress.'' (Peter the Hermit, AD 1274) (Pearson, opt. cit.)
• ''An angry father asks his teenage son, ‘Where did you go?' The boy, as he is trying to sneak home late at night says, ‘Nowhere.' 'Grow up,' his father chides him. ‘Stop hanging around the public square and wandering up and down the street. Go to school. Night and day you torture me. Night and day you waste your time having fun.''' (Translated from 4,000-year-old Sumerian clay tablets) (Pearson, opt. cit.)

Question for Discussion: "What can we learn from these statements?" (1 -  Problems between adults an youth aren't unique to our generation. 2 - Perhaps there's a tendency for youth to assume or act like they're smarter than their elders. 3 - Perhaps when we as youth become the adults, we too will realize that many decisions we thought were wise as a youth will seem dangerous or foolish from the experience of adulthood.)

Implications: Although not all authorities are virtuous and wise, many have a perspective that we as teachers (in relationship to our administrative and governing authorities) and youth (in relation to your teachers and parents and government) need. Perhaps some of the things that look innocent or appealing to us now will look very different to us looking back through the experiences of another decade. Sometimes I might have to trust the adult world for a perspective that I can't currently see or agree with.   

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When future Microsoft billionaire Bill Gates was a freshman in college, he and a couple of friends had been working for some time on a device to count traffic on highways. Finally, Gates got a representative from a county engineering department to come to his parent's house and see it work. The night before, everything had worked perfectly, but at the demonstration it failed miserably. So, Bill Gates, the brilliant recipient of a national merit scholarship, student at Harvard University, accomplished programmer, did what most any teenager would. He ran for his mother, begging ''Tell him, Mom! Tell him it worked last night!'' (Stephen Manes and Paul Andrews, Gates: How Microsoft's Mogul Reinvented An Industry - And Made Himself The Richest Man in America, Simon & Schuster, New York, 1994, pp. 60,61)

You can't be too smart or too old to need your parents. When was the last time you thanked your parents for simply being there for you?

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What do you think of this study?

''They really want and expect rules. Seventy-five percent of one group of teens stated that ''obedience and respect for authority are the most important habits for children to learn.'' …More than 50 percent of them felt that their parents, schools, churches and law-enforcement agencies coddled them too much.'' (Hazen G. Werner)

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Pop singer Cheryl Crow has some powerful insights into family relationships. ''It always stuns me,'' says Crow, ''how many people I deal with don't like some members of their family. My life lesson is: You get born into a family of people and you may not be that much alike, but if you're really lucky, you'll like them and love them. I'm really lucky, ‘cause I enjoy my family. There's a lot you can learn from being a family member about empathy and forgiveness, and that's what it's really all about for me.'' (Cheryl Crow on Family: From ''I'm Where I'm Supposed to Be'' in the Parade magazine, November 10, 2002, p. 5. By Ben Fong-Torres.)

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Some faithful mom's and grandmothers may have been some of the greatest influences on today's computer revolution. Because of them, Bill Gates and some of his programming buddies were given a passion for reading, a love for thinking, and the opportunity to learn programming before the personal computer existed.

Let's start with Bill Gate's grandmother, Adelle Maxwell, affectionately called ''Gam.'' When the kids came home from school, she was there, exerting a major influence over Bill. By reading books to the grandchildren and involving them in the local libraries' summer reading contests (Bill always came in first among the boys) Bill became an avid reader. Gam also sharpened his intellectual skills through games. She had been valedictorian of her class and felt that well-chosen games were great tests of skill and intelligence. She loved games, teaching him double solitaire, fish, gin and bridge. Bill's mom remembers Gam always saying to young Bill as he played Bridge, ''Think smart, think smart!'' (Written by Steve Miller, copyright Feb., 2003. Source: Stephen Manes and Paul Andrews, Gates: How Microsoft's Mogul Reinvented An Industry - And Made Himself The Richest Man in America, Simon & Schuster, New York, 1994, pp. 17,18)

Then there was Bill's mother. When Bill was getting into more trouble than academics at school, she sought out a new school environment. Without making that change, he would have never had the opportunity to form friendships with the other brilliant students and work with computers, which weren't accessible from other schools.

Then there was a group of concerned mothers at his school who pulled strings to give Gates and his computer addicts the opportunity to keep programming. When administrators had to shut down the school teletype machine to cut costs, a school mother came to the rescue and got the kids a job at Computer Center Corporation (C-Cubed) searching for programming errors. Just think of the impact of these mothers! Because of their giving students access to computer terminals, before the personal computer had been invented, about a dozen of those high school students became pioneers in computer software. Bill Gates and Paul Allen would co-found Microsoft. (Written by Steve Miller, copyright Feb., 2003. Source: ''Bill Gates Speaks,'' Insights from the World's Greatest Entrepreneur, by Janet Lowe, John Wiley and Sons, 1998. (pp. 3-16)])

Parents and grandparents certainly aren't perfect, but how often do we tell them how much we appreciate what they've done for us? Could you perhaps write a card to a parent, grandparent or other relative who's contributed to your life?

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In Part One of the Back to the Future trilogy, Michael J. Fox plays Marty McFly, a cool and talented student who is surrounded by goofy authority figures. How many of you saw the movie? His dad is a geek who is controlled by Marty's mom. His principal is a clueless disciplinarian who seems to enjoy reminding Marty that he's a ''slacker,'' who, like his father, won't amount to anything. Idea: Consider using a clip toward the first of the movie where Marty's parents are shown as soooo nerdy.

How many of you think that this is typical of the way authority figures are presented in youth movies? What other movies or TV shows can you think of that present authority figures as either unsympathetic, clueless, or worse? (The principal in Matilda, Adam Sandler's father in Big Daddy, Rug Rat's Parents, parodies of presidents in Comedy Central, parents in Small Soldiers, etc.) Do you think this reinforces bad attitudes toward adults? What movies or programs geared to teens show adults in a more positive light?( © Copyright 2002 Steve Miller - All Rights Reserved)

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Play a clip from the movie, Big Daddy, where Adam Sandler has a heated conversation with his father on the phone and explains the situation to the child over which he is custodian. Sandler calls to a nearby young man whose appearance would turn off any father. He tells him that he knows he hates his father. The man tells Sandler to mind his own business. Sandler replies and the man admits as he walks away, ''I hate my father!'' A great example of how many rebel because of a poor father-figure not necessarily because their current authorities don't deserve respect. © Copyright 2002 Steve Miller - All Rights Reserved

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I heard of a man who saved his money diligently during his life so that he was able to retire comfortably with a house and much land. But eventually he had to sell the land, not because of his own financial problems, but to bail his son out of his problems. His son had been caught trafficking cocaine, and the father claimed responsibility. Why did the father feel responsible? The father said, ''I always found fault with every governing official. I fostered a basic disrespect in my son for people in authority. (© Copyright 2002 Steve Miller - All Rights Reserved)

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They were three of the brightest stars of the 60's. All three are rock legends, their names forever etched in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Jimi Hendrix was one of the greatest rock guitarist who ever lived. His creative innovations indelibly impacted the future of rock. Jim Morrison, lead singer of The Doors, had a brilliant, creative mind and published poetry that some consider world class. Janis Joplin was so popular as to be hailed ''the first goddess of rock.''

All three sold millions of albums. All three performed before thousands of adoring fans. Their biographies have sold millions of copies. But all three died tragic, sudden deaths in chilling testimony to the truth of the Proverb:

"A man who remains stiff-necked after many rebukes will suddenly be destroyed – without remedy."

You see, although these artists had incredible talent and charisma, they lived way out on the edge, ignoring the warnings of both their authorities and those who loved them most. And while searching for freedom, all three found themselves enslaved to their destructive passions.

Seemingly in the midst of great careers, just like the Proverb said, they were suddenly gone. Hendrix was in the midst of recording a new album when he overdosed on barbituates, choking to death on his own vomit. Upon hearing of his death, Joplin cursed and lamented that he'd beaten her to it. Two weeks later, when she had almost completed recording an album, she shot up some unusually pure heroin in her hotel room, went down to the lobby to purchase some cigarettes, returned to her room, and fell down dead. Within a year, while Morrison was working on material for a new album, he sank into a deep depression and was found dead in his bathtub of a heart attack.

Just as Solomon had warned thousands of years ago, they refused to change when they were warned. And they fell suddenly, without remedy. Incredibly, they all died at the young age of 27. (Sources: No One Gets Out of Here Alive, by Jerry Hopkins and Danny Sugerman, plus various internet sites and Proverbs 29:1.) (© Copyright 2002 Steve Miller - All Rights Reserved)

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A kite strains against the restricting force of its string. But should it break free, it would experience but a brief moment of exhilarating freedom before first floundering, and then tumbling to the ground. As a kite can't fly without the restricting force of its string, so we can't maximize our potential while cutting the strings that guide and protect us. True freedom is found, not in escaping all authority and accountability, but in respecting and welcoming it. (© Copyright 2002 Steve Miller - All Rights Reserved)

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A school received this note from a parent, with an important misspelled word:

''My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.''

Sometimes this option looks very appealing to a stressed-out parent.

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You don't remember what you were like as a toddler, so you can't appreciate what your parents went through. Here's a glimpse into ''The Property Laws of a Toddler'' (Found in a hospital):

If I like it, it's mine.
If it's in my hand, it's mine.
If I can take it from you, it's mine.
If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
If it's mine, it must not ever appear to be yours in any way.
If I'm doing or building something, all the pieces are mine.
If I saw it first, it's mine.
If it looks just like mine, it's mine.
If you're playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
If it's broken, it's yours.

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As much as we don't like people setting boundaries, we need them.

A 1994 study published in Child Development Journal (by Laurence Steinberg) found higher incidences of anxiety, depression, behavioral problems and alcohol abuse in overindulgent families than families where children had consistent boundaries and responsibilities. (cited in Parents Magazine, March, '96, p. 80)

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A good application of a message for youth on the home: ''What positive thing could you do at home, that would knock your parents out of their chair when they found you doing it?'' "What positive thing could you do for your teachers at school, which would knock them off their desks when they found you doing it?" (© Copyright 2002 Steve Miller - All Rights Reserved)

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Do you realize all that your parents have gone through for you? A mother who has been married for 20 years has changed 10,000 diapers, vacuumed 20,000 miles of carpet, and dusted 10,000 square acres of furniture. Have you ever sat down with her and told her how much you appreciate all of that hard work? (source unknown)

You can't go through a grocery store line without finding the face of Leonardo DiCaprio staring at you from the cover of at least one magazine. Catapulted into super-stardom at a young age by his role in Titanic, you can imagine the difficulty he faces in keeping everything in perspective. But he has someone in his life who helps him keep his feet on the ground, and that person is his mom. According to DiCaprio, ''My mother is a good leveler. She keeps herself very separate from all the glitz and glamour of the business. She gives me advice and keeps reminding me that acting is just a job.'' Are you willing to get advice from your mom? (Douglas Thompson, Leonardo DiCaprio, Berkley Boulevard Books, 1998, p. 17. © Copyright 2002 Steve Miller - All Rights Reserved)

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When you hear all the problems associated with today's youth, you may erroneously conclude that youth don't love their parents. But a poll of high school seniors found 94% saying that they loved both their parents. (''Tween 12 and 20,'' The Gazette Telegraph) Most children love their parents, and most parents love their children. But we often fail in communicating that love. Don't ever assume that your parents know that you love them. Tell them!

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Often we think of the most rebellious as the most free. They do what they want when they want to do it. Yet, that kind of rebellion ultimately leads to less freedom and more fear, particularly fear of authorities.

Shock rocker Marilyn Manson has tried to position himself as a symbol of rebellion and absolute ''freedom'' from authority. Yet, as a result he must live in fear. In his own words, ''I've always been paranoid about the police, because even when I'm not doing anything illegal I'm thinking about doing something illegal. So whenever I'm around a cop, I get uncomfortable and nervous, worried that I'm going to say the wrong thing or look so guilty that they'll arrest me anyway.'' (Written by Steve Miller, Copyright April 25, 2002. Source: Marilyn Manson in his autobiography, The Long Hard Road Out of Hell, Regan Books, 1998, p. 100.)

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In a free society, If we obey our authorities, we have no reason to fear them. If we flagrantly disobey, we'll probably get justice, not mercy. Here are some of the comments you may get when you're caught…

• ''The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile.''
• ''If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.''
• ''So, you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?''
• ''Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?''
• ''Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket.''
• ''The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?''
• ''Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.''
• ''Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid.''
• ''No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want.''
• ''Just how big were those two beers?
• ''In God we trust, all others are suspects.''

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A 1994 study published in Child Development Journal (by Laurence Steinberg) found higher incidences of anxiety, depression, behavioral problems and alcohol abuse in overindulgent families than families where children had consistent boundaries and responsibilities. (cited in Parents Magazine, March, '96, p. 80) So, although none of us like boundaries, let's try to appreciate those who impose boundaries on you.

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