Home (Leave Private Section) Links to Resources Crowd Breakers Help
|
Home (Leave Private Section) Links to Resources Crowd Breakers Help |
"Polite and Courteous Behavior Toward Others in Words and Action"
See Lesson:
"Dress For Success"(See also Gratitude, Respect for Others, Humility, Kindness)
Click-Throughs to "
Courtesy" CategoriesResources on Courtesy
Who Could Tame George Foreman?
(Or, Security Guards, Hippies, Lunch Room Ladies and Other Life-Changers)
Younger people may know his name from advertisements for the George Foreman Grill. Older folks remember him as one of the greatest boxers of all time. In his remarkable lifetime record, he fought 81 times, winning 76 times, 68 of them by a knock out. (1)
At age 19, he fought his way to an Olympic gold medal. In his early 20's, he defeated the seemingly invincible Joe Frazier, knocking him down six times in four rounds to become the heavyweight champion of the world. In his first fight to defend his title, he knocked out his opponent in under a minute, the fastest-ever knockout for a heavyweight championship bout.
Later in life, he needed to raise money for his youth center and decided to show everyone that middle-aged men weren't over the hill. Few believed that he could fight seriously against younger fighters, but he stunned the world by winning fight after fight and finally knocking out the reigning champ at age 45.
Yet, his incredible career may have never gotten off the ground had a few people not believed in him. You see, it wasn't easy to believe in George as a youth. He grew up in a poor home in a poor neighborhood and lived by the law of the jungle, constantly getting into fights to try to prove himself. To get money, he'd mug people on the streets. His friends were so bad that he thought of himself as one of the good boys. After all, he never knifed any of his victims. But anyone who looked at him wrong had better run away fast, or they'd get a taste of the Foreman fist. He was was a big bully with a terrible temper. (2)
Fortunately, George ran across people who cared. As a teenager, he moved from Texas to Oregon with the Job Corps, a government program to give young people a chance to work and learn a trade. While he was there, Doc Broadus, who worked with security, saw potential in him as a boxer and helped him to begin training. A fellow Job Corp worker, a hippie from Washington state, shared his Bob Dylan music with George, encouraging him to think about the lyrics, exercise his mind with reading, and to learn to engage people with his words rather than his fists. For the first time, George fell in love with reading, opening his mind to new worlds. (3)
Then there was Mrs. Moon, the lunchroom lady. You might think, "What kind of influence could a lunch-room lady have on a mean, tough bully? Surely only a tough coach could get through to a person like him." But you see, George had grown up hungry. His mother was so poor that she couldn't afford to give her children enough food. He was too embarrassed to tell anyone and ask for a handout. So back during his school days, he would often blow air into his brown paper sack so that other students would think he had something to eat. If the sack held anything, it might be a mayonnaise sandwich.
So you can see why food was important to George. And the lunch lady controlled the food. So when she told him to straighten up, he listened. She noticed what foods George liked and scooped out a bit extra into his plate. She smiled at him and talked to him. She even invited George home to eat with her family, once a month, every month for six months.
How did this make him feel? According to George,
"Mrs. Moon just made me feel that I was special. She liked me for me. ... Her words echoed in my ears: 'You watch that temper.' The way she said it, smiling and cheerful, I believed she knew something I didn't. And I wanted to do as she said. Most of all, I wanted to please her." (4)
In the final paragraphs of his autobiography, after his huge early success in boxing, establishing a youth center to help young people, and regaining his title late in life, he looked back to remember Mrs. Moon:
"As vividly as if it happened the day before, I remembered the look on Mrs. Moon's face that first time I passed through the lunch line at the Oregon Job Corps center. She smiled at me. That was the moment I decided I was special." (5)
So never say, "I'm just a science nerd" or "Nobody cares what I think of them." You never know who's waiting for someone, anyone, to show that they care. A few caring students or staff could be inspiring the next George Foreman or Albert Einstein or Martin Luther King. Never underestimate the power of kindness.
Discussion Questions
1) Why do you think George was always getting
into fights in school?
2) What would you have thought of George had you been in school with him?
3) Why do we often see people like George as total losers?
4) Do you think the people who cared about George knew what an impact they were
having?
5) How would we relate to people differently if we saw their potential more than
their rough spots?
6) In your mind, think of some people you could be nice to today.
Sources
1) Wikipedia on George Foreman.
2) George Foreman and Joel Engel, By George: The Autobiography of George
Foreman (Villard Books, New York: 1995) pp. 3-24.
3) Ibid., pp. 25-41.
4) Ibid., pp. 27-29.
5) Ibid., p. 262.
(Copyright September, 2007. Written by Steve Miller.)
* * * * * * * *
The Power of Politeness
Most people today seem to think of politeness and courtesy as kind of wimpy, social niceties that nobody really cares about any more. But B.C. Forbes, the super-successful Scottish journalist who founded Forbes magazine, believes otherwise. He once said this about politeness:
No characteristic will so help one to advance, whether in business or society, as politeness. Competition is so keen today, there is so much standardized merchandise, there are so many places where one's wants can be supplied, that the success or failure of a business can depend on the ability to please customers or clients. Courtesy – another name for politeness – costs nothing, but can gain much both for an individual and for an organization. ( B.C. Forbes)
As Clarence Thomas said, "Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot." Go ahead, make straight "A's" and rise to the top of your sport or interest. If we come across rude to others, the best businesses won't hire us and those who work around us will hope for our failure.
This week, let's think more deeply about how rudeness comes across to others and how it can short-circuit our success. If I come across rude to you, let me know. We can never learn enough about courtesy. (Copyright September 20, 2003, Legacy Educational Resources)
Discussion Questions:
1) What are some ways that people act rude?
2) What rude things bother you most?
3) What do you think Clarence Thomas meant when he said, "Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot."?
4) Some things that don't seem rude to me seem rude to others. In order to be
courteous to my parents, should I express courtesy according to what seems
courteous to me, or what seems courteous to them?
5) The word "Sucks" is currently defined as "to be objectionable
or inadequate." (Merriam-Webster Dictionary) Yet, in the early 1970's it
had a very different meaning, so perverse that women voted it as the swear word
that most offended them. (Don't explore that meaning in your class!) For this
reason, most journalists won't use it. Many people over 45 years of age
still think of the word's perverse meaning. That's why it's offensive to them.
How does this understanding impact the way we act polite toward older people?
6) What's one way we can be more polite this week?
Tell Me More About You...
Purpose: To help students learn listening and retention skills.
Divide into small groups and have them answer the following questions:- My name is...
- A moment in my life that I'll never forget...
- When I was a child, I wanted to grow up to be a...
- Now I'm thinking about a career in...
- The best time in my life was...
Limit each person to about 1 minute total.
Ask all students to take out a sheet of paper and write down each thing they can remember about each person.
Ask who thinks they remembered every answer for every person. Give those people a prize.
Debriefing: I know that those of us with poor memories are at a disadvantage at a game like this, but the point of the activity was to work on our listening skills. How do you feel when you're telling someone something important to you and you notice that they're not listening? How do you feel when the person not only listens, but follows up with more questions about your situation? How can we become better listeners?
**********************
Courtesy Brainstorm
Divide the class in half and let each team appoint a writer for the blackboard. Give them three minutes to list as many examples of rudeness as they can. (You could do the same with Politeness.) Teacher judges if the term is disallowed or not. The losing team serves donuts and orange juice to the winning team.
**********************
Friendliness Pays Off
Before class, talk to one of the first students who arrives and secretly give her a $5.00 bill. Tell her to give the $5.00 to the 10th (less if smaller group) person who introduces his/herself to her. Tell the students that someone in the class has $5.00 to give away to a student who introduces him/herself to that student for the 10th time. In order to get it, you must politely introduce yourself to each person and tell your name and one of your interests.
Debriefing: What motivated us to be courteous and friendly in this game? (We knew that friendliness paid off in the form of $5.00.) Actually, $5.00 is nothing compared to the benefits we reap from establishing relationships with many people. Bill Gates and one of his high school buddies started Micro-Soft and made billions. Ever seen a Hewlett-Packard computer or printer? Hewlett and Packard met and became friends in college. And it's not just money you receive from getting to know people. What are some of the other benefits? Some of your best times in life will be as a result of friendships, some of which started with a polite handshake and get-to-know-you small-talk.
**********************
Paperclip Challenge (Being civil toward those with disabilities.)
Materials Needed: paperclip for each student, two pencils or chopsticks per student, one paper cup per team.
Divide into teams of 4. Ask each team to set their cup and paperclips on a cleared desk. "The object of this game is for each member to get their paperclip into the cup using only the pencils/chopsticks." Give a prize to the winning team.
Debriefing: Tell me about your frustrations with this contest. What was difficult about it? It's difficult enough to get through a day with full use of your brain and body. But have you ever put yourself in the place of a person who doesn't have full use of their hands or legs? What about the person who sees many things backwards, has memory disabilities or mental processing issues? If we could go through a week without using our hands, or a week in a wheelchair, or a week with black glasses, how might it change our attitude toward those with disabilities? Why is it sometimes difficult to know how to strike up a conversation with a person with disabilities? (We don't want to come across like we're staring at them or are aware of their disability.) If you had a major disability, how would you want others to treat you?
Blind Challenge
Either bring handkerchiefs to tie around their heads or purchase some cheap, paper 3d glasses or the glasses you get from an eye doctor when your eyes are dilated, enough for every student. (A movie theatre or Optometrist may give you some if they know it's for character education.) Take a black marker and color the lenses black. Tell students to not peek out of the sides. They may need to use small pieces of masking tape.
Have students go through the first part of your meeting blind. Ask them to do some normal things, like take out a blank sheet of paper, put their name on the top of it, and write in a sentence saying hello to their disabled relative or acquaintance they know. (Help any who ask for help.) Tell them that today is national Giraffe day and you'd like them to draw a Giraffe below their sentence, and then sign it.
Give each an additional sheet of paper. Then, say you've changed your mind because the time is short. Ask them to wad up the paper, go throw it in the trash and return to their seats. (Some will run into each other. Some will return to the wrong rows and go to the wrong seats, etc.)
Debriefing: Ask them to take off their glasses, look at their note and picture, and tell about the most frustrating parts of their blind experience. How does that experience help you better understand the world of the disabled? What's the difference between a disability and weaknesses we all have in certain areas such as eyesight, analytical ability, memory, physical clumsiness, etc. (It's just a matter of degree.) How can understanding a person's inner struggles help us to be more patient with those who are often rude, obnoxious, or are referred to by others as "losers?" (Perhaps they have difficult lives at home or are hiding personal deficits or insecurities behind their tough facade. Who knows, if we'd grown up with the same genetic makeup and same upbringing, we might have been just like them!)
Drama: Freaky School Day (Prepared for 5th and 6th grade)
Purpose
Setting
Student
turns a corner and bumps head-on into the school custodian (Director: Try to get
your real-life custodian to play this part.)
Student and
Custodian, simultaneously: “Woooaaaa!”
Custodian
(Wide-eyed in horror): “Hey! That’s me.”
Student #1
(Equally Perplexed): “What’s going on?!?”
Student #1 and Custodian (together) “It’s Freaky Friday!!”
Custodian (Now in Student’s body. He grabs the student (in custodian’s body) by the shirt and pulls him into the men’s restroom. Both look at each other in the mirror.): “Do you see what I see...or is this my bad dream?
[Director’s
Note: From now on, “Student” refers to the student in the Custodian’s
body. “Custodian” refers to the custodian in the student’s body.]
Student #1
(We changed bodies! But how?!?)
Custodian:
“Hey! Let’s run into each other again!” (They run into each other and look
back in the mirror.) We’re still switched!
Student #2
(Enters bathroom as Student and Custodian talk and bump.): “You guys are too
weird!” (Stops in his tracks, turns around, and leaves the bathroom.)
Student #1:
Student and custodian walk out together.
Custodian:
Listen, if we tell anybody, they’ll think we’re crazy. Until we figure this
out, I’ve got to live your life and you’ve got to live mine. Otherwise,
we’ll get into big trouble.
Student #1:
“Right!” So...give me your phone number and your “to do list.”
Custodian:
“And give me your class schedule.”
They
exchange papers.
Assistant Principal: (Walking up respectfully, but urgently, to the
student): “I’m afraid we’ve got an emergency. In four hours we’ve got
open house for all the students and teachers. I know you worked hard to make
everything look great, but I’m afraid that a student has once again vandalized
the school.”
Custodian:
“You mean...”
Assistant Principal: “You’ve got it. The back hall’s all marked
up. It’ll probably take you all four hours to scrub it off.”
Custodian
looks at the marker he has in his hand. At first he looks angry; then, he smiles
and walks off to class.
Fade to
black. Sign says, “Three Hours Later.”
Fade back in
to student, still scrubbing the wall.
Student #1:
“If I could get my hands on whoever did this...Hey! I did this! What a rat!
If I’d known how much that poor custodian had to work, I’d have never
done this.”
Custodian:
(Coming in for open house.) “How’s
it coming? (Smiling and pointing) Hey, you missed a spot!”
Narrator:
Civility at school means taking care of our school and thinking of others. When
someone puts chewing gum under a table, someone else might have to clean it off
their pants. If each student drops a wrapper on the floor, someone has to clean
up hundreds of wrappers. Today, let’s help out our custodians and teachers by
picking up rather than throwing down, cleaning up rather than making messes.
Discussion:
1) Why do you think the student wrote in the hall?
2)
What
did he learn by changing places with the custodian?
3)
Why
do you think leaving messes is wrong?
A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. ( Dave Barry, Dave Barry Turns 50, Crown Books)
It's Lacking
If manners were an
animal, it would be an endangered species. (Public relations expert Henry C.
Rogers, 1984)
**********************
Some people rationalize throwing out a candy wrapper by thinking, "It's so little that nobody will ever notice it." But a bulletin from Kennesaw State University reported that "plant operations personnel pick up five 55-gallon drums of cigarette butts on campus on a weekly basis." Imagine what it costs the university to pay people to pick these up! And that ultimately hurts us all with higher tuition for students to pay for such services.
It Opens Doors
Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot. (Clarence Thomas)
People Don't Like Rudeness
In a 2002 survey of over 2000 adults in America, 8 in 10 said a lack of respect and courtesy was a serious problem.
''Americans say that disrespect, lack of consideration and rudeness are serious, pervasive problems that affect them on a personal, gut level.''
''Americans say they are witnessing a deterioration of courtesy and respectfulness that has become a daily assault on their sensibilities and the quality of their lives.''
56% said it bothered them a lot to hear foul language in public.
(From Public Agenda survey of over 2000 adults, Aggravating Circumstances, funded by The Pew Charitable Trusts, released in 2002, which took a detailed look at what Americans are thinking about courtesy, manners, rudeness and respect.
http://www.publicagenda.org/specials/civility/civility.htmYou Gain Much From It
Politeness is the hallmark of the gentleman and the gentle-woman. No characteristic will so help one to advance, whether in business or society, as politeness. Competition is so keen today, there is so much standardized merchandise, there are so many places where one's wants can be supplied, that the success or failure of a business can depend on the ability to please customers or clients. Courtesy – another name for politeness – costs nothing, but can gain much both for an individual and for an organization. ( B.C. Forbes)
It Makes Society Possible
Without good manners human society becomes intolerable and impossible. (George Bernard Shaw)
In the history of the world, no one ever went wrong by being polite. (Hal Urban)
It Helps Us Succeed
Respond Quickly
Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later.
(Mary Bly)Treat People With Respect
We ought to treat our elderly as if we expect to become one of them. (Frank Clark)
**********************
Treat people as
adults. Treat them as partners; treat them with dignity; treat them with
respect. (Tom Peters and Robert Waterman, In Search of Excellence)
Be Courteous With More Than Your Words
Watch not only what you say, but how you say it. One researcher suggested that when we speak to someone, the following factors determine how well we communicate:
Be Courteous to All
Anyone can be polite to a king, but it takes a gentleman to be polite to a beggar. (Jim Shea)
Need more resources on "Courtesy"? See also our related categories: Gratitude, Respect for Others, Humility, Kindness .