Purpose: Students will grow in their understanding and desire to show concern and sympathy for others. 
Materials: Pens or pencils, one copy of "compliment tree" per student, availability of paper.
Quote: "You give little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give." (Kahlil Gibron)

Part One - Defining Compassion

Brainstorm definitions or synonyms of Compassion (giving, service, sharing, love, helpfulness, kindness, generosity, unselfishness, sacrifice, etc.).

Reaching out to others makes life meaningful. What's really great about this is that the more we give, the more we receive. Philosopher Deepak Chopra says that when we serve others, we gain more in return. If we give good things, then good things will flow our way. You might be thinking "Wrong! I gave ten dollars to a friend, and I'm still waiting to get it back!" But we've got to understand that when we give and share, we won't always be paid in kind or on time. Over the long run, we'll attract love, respect and generosity from others in general. We'll become a magnet for positive thoughts and actions.

When we truly care for others, there are no strings attached. Don't expect to receive anything in return for your gifts or services. You don't give grudgingly; you do it with a free and open heart, without keeping score. Don't let the fear of rejection hold you back. Sometimes caring takes real courage.

Real caring is unconditional. You don't stop to think if someone deserves it. And when you really love someone, you don't worry about what's in it for you.

Look around you and you'll notice many opportunities to give and to serve. Think about your family, other relatives, friends, people in your neighborhood, pets and animals, the environment, your community, and the world.

Part Two: How Compassion Looks

Competition! Divide the class into two teams (left side and right). Ask teams to send a writer to the blackboard to write down as many ways to show compassion as their team can come up with. Have them put up these headings: "Your Actions," "Your Words," "Your Thoughts," "Material Gifts." The team with the least number of items serves donuts to the team with the most. Here are some questions to get the creative juices flowing:

1. How can you use your skills, smarts, and experiences to improve the lives of others?
2. What can you do for your school, club, place of worship, or local government?
3. How can you help another person (or group of people) to develop, grow, and become independent?
4. What are some ways we can care about, share with, and serve others with our actions, words thoughts or material gifts?

Specifics they might come up with:

Your actions:  Make your parent(s) bed, rake leaves, tutor a younger child, open a door for a Sr. citizen, carry groceries out for a Sr. citizen, sit with someone who is by herself at lunch.
Your words: Say kind things to and about other people, offer advice when it's wanted and empathy when it's needed, don't spread gossip, rumors or cruel stories (even if they're true), etc.
Your thoughts: Positive thoughts can be very powerful. You can do an act of kindness for another person merely by thinking good thoughts about him or her. People will feel the positive thoughts you send their way.
Material gifts: Giving mittens/socks/blankets to the homeless, charity drives, birthdays, holidays, etc.

Discussion: What are some ways you serve that you might recommend to other students? What do you get out of it when you serve others?

Part Three - The Power of Compassion

It takes motivation to stop thinking solely of ourselves and start thinking of others. We've said that one motivator is to think of the good we get when we serve others. Another motivator is to realize the incredible power of compassion to change individuals and to change the world. I'll give you one example:

When a guy became interested in surfing, he lost interest in skateboarding. But rather than put his skateboard away in storage, he was thoughtful enough to pass it on to his little brother Tony, and showed him how to ride it. Who could have imagined the impact of that one act of kindness? That little brother would become one of the most creative and innovative forces in skateboarding - Tony Hawk.

Part Four - Changing Uncaring to Caring

Small Group Discussion: Divide into groups of 5 or 6 and give each group a blank piece of paper. Appoint a secretary to take notes. Draw a line down the center of the paper, heading one column with the title: "Uncaring" and the other with the title: "Caring." Instruct groups to list as many examples of "uncaring" behaviors that they see at school, at home or in their community and then "caring" behaviors that they see at school, at home or in their community. After the discussion, have a volunteer from each group write their behaviors on the board under the appropriate category, without repeating what former groups have written.

Encourage discussion concerning how they feel about some of the "uncaring" behaviors and what strategies could be used to transfer those behaviors to "caring" behaviors.

Part Five - We Have More in Common Than We Think

Activity: The In-Common Game - Have students pair up. Give them 4 or 5 minutes to create a list of the things they have in common. Give examples such as Family: "We both have younger brothers and a step-dad," Interests: "We both like cars and water sports," School: "We both hate math and love literature," Music: "We both like alternative music."

Debriefing: Have students share some of the things they have in common and discuss how this can help us to be more compassionate toward one another.

Part Six - We Should Feel for Each Other's Weaknesses

Activity: If you have shoes with laces, untie one of your shoes. Now, with one hand behind your back, tie it back. (Those without laces can try it with another person's shoe.)

Debriefing: How many of you got frustrated? How can this exercise help us empathize with others? (All of us have disabilities, although some are more obvious than others. Some have emotional scars from a tough family life. Others have memory problems, attention problems, motivation problems, bad self-esteem. If we can understand that everyone has problems, we can be more compassionate and less judgmental. Once we realize that if we had the same background as that obnoxious student, we might be even more obnoxious, we've gone a long way toward being able to empathize.

Part Seven - Showing Compassion Through Encouragement

Activity: The Complement Tree - Pass out a copy of an outlined tree (see image below) to each student. Ask each to write his/her name on their tree. Tell them it's a "Complement Tree" and give examples of complements, such as "Dan keeps us positive," "I like Ann's smile," "Steve's a deep thinker," "Rachel's her own person," "Pete's so steady; he never seems to get upset." "Beth's so friendly." Students pass their trees on to another student, who writes a complement about the tree's owner. After 15 seconds, pass it to the next student, and the next. After each tree reaches its owner, allow them a few minutes to read the comments. 

Avoiding problems: 1 - Tell them firmly to write nothing rude/unkind/inappropriate. 2 - Many students won't know other students' names. Tell them it's okay to whisper softly to a neighbor to figure out who the tree belongs to. Or, write the names of students arranged according to their row and seat on the blackboard. (Be sensitive to those of us with memory/name disabilities!) 3 - The better students know each other (don't do it the first week of class!), the more ideas they will have to share.

Debriefing: How do complements make you feel? How can they change people's lives?

In the popular book, "The One Minute Manager," the successful manager says that when he hires a new person, he watches him like a hawk. "To catch him doing something wrong?" an inquirer guesses. "No," answers the manager; "to catch him doing something right, so that I can encourage him." This manager discovered the power of positive reinforcement, the same power we have to change the lives of our fellow students and teachers and parents. People all around us are dying to be noticed, to be appreciated. Change someone's life today with a simple complement or an invitation to have lunch together. Simple acts of kindness can change the world.

Complement Tree

Addendum

Want to plan an act of kindness for your class? Find many ideas on this web page: http://www.character-education.info/Articles/Random_Acts_of_Kindness.htm

Writers: Madeline Turner and Steve Miller