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Respect for Others
"Concern for and motivation to act for the welfare of others."
(See also Generosity/Service, Kindness, Empathy, Courtesy/Civility, Gratitude, Acceptance, Forgiveness)
(See Lesson Plan on "Respect for Others."
Click-Throughs to "Respect" Categories
Games, Activities and Clips
Defining Respect
Motivation to Respect
How to Show Respect
Respect Resources
Some People Can't Tolerate Lawyers
Did you hear about the truck driver who had a thing about lawyers? He used to amuse himself by swerving to try to hit any lawyers that he saw walking along the side of the road. Upon hearing the satisfying ''thump'' on the side of his car, he would swerve back onto the road and be on his way.
One day, he saw a priest trying to hitch a ride. He pulled over to do his good deed for the day, asking the priest where he was headed. ''Only about five miles down the road,'' replied the priest. ''My car broke down and I'd really appreciate the lift.'' The relieved priest climbed aboard and the truck driver began moving on down the road.
Suddenly the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively swerved to hit him. At the last moment he remembered his holy passenger and swerved back, just in time to miss the lawyer. But much to his dismay, he still heard a loud ''thud'' as he passed. Confused, he glanced in his mirrors, and when he didn't see anything, he turned to the priest and said, ''I'm sorry Father. I almost hit that lawyer.'' ''Don't worry,'' replied the priest. ''I got him with my door.''
It's no problem to tell jokes that are all in fun, but some people really do hate all lawyers. I suppose they had a couple of bad experiences with lawyers and then assumed that all lawyers were the same. Others have had bad experiences with people of another race, or with people who dress a certain way.
My challenge to all of us is to not be like the truck driver and the priest in the story. Whatever bad experiences we've had with a certain group of people, those experiences shouldn't color our judgment of every person in that group.
I hate to be treated badly because of my race or nationality social group. If I hate that so much, then how can I do it to others? Each person's an individual. This week, let's look at each person we meet with new, fresh eyes, not judging them by our past experiences with people in their group.
Discussion Questions
1) Why do you think the truck driver in the story hated lawyers?
2) What other groups do people stereotype and sometimes treat poorly?
3) What problems does it cause when people stereotype a group and
unfairly treat each individual in the group with the same bad attitude?
4) It's easy to develop unfair prejudices. How can we keep them from
forming?
5) This week, let's try to look at people as individuals rather than
members of races or groups. We may never be able to eliminate racism and
prejudice from everyone, but we can work toward eliminating it from
ourselves.
How Tolerating
Obnoxious People Can Pay Off
Topics: Tolerance, Respect, Authorities
A computer whiz named Woz worked with an obnoxious partner named Steve. They had
certain things in common – like an interest in computers and a love for
practical jokes. But in other ways they were worlds apart. Steve was into this
hippie thing, going barefoot all the time and skipping way too many baths. As a
result, he often stunk, but refused to believe he stunk because he was convinced
that his weird diet kept him from needing deodorant.
Then there was the special way Steve made you feel when you disagreed with him. Sometimes he’d scream and cry and pitch fits rather than believe that, just once, maybe someone else might be right. If he didn’t like something you were working on, he’d often say it was stupid or useless without even listening to your side. Have you ever had to put up with people like that? Needless to say, Steve wasn’t the easiest person to work with and many people simply couldn’t tolerate him.
But Woz is glad that he tolerated Steve’s irritating quirks and hung in there with him. Together, Steve Wozniak (known as Woz) and Steve Jobs started a little computer company called Apple, which eventually gave the world billions of dollars worth of useful products including computers, iPhones, iPods, iPads, and iTunes.
As irritatingly different as they were, Woz and Jobs needed each other. Woz happily programmed and designed in solitude, not relishing dealing with publicity and sales. Jobs became the public face of the company, helping to dream up designs but also making sure the products got out there. Apple became one of the most successful companies in the world because two very different people tolerated each other enough to work together and change the world. (1)
Discussion
1. What made Steve Jobs
get on people’s nerves?
2. What would have made it hard for you to get along with Steve Jobs?
3. How do you think Woz tolerated such irritating qualities?
4. Did Woz have to agree with Job’s beliefs and actions to tolerate him?
5. Does “tolerating” mean that you never confront people about their obnoxious
behavior?
6. When do you confront and when do you let it slide?
7. What can this story teach us about the benefits of tolerance?
1) Facts from Walter Isaacson, Steve Jobs
(New York: Simon & Schuster, 2011), pp.
34,43,81,83,84,88,90,91,93,95,101,103,112,121,etc.
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Think You're Better Than Everyone Else?
Great 19th century essayist, poet and philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson said something I think is profound. He said, ''Every man I meet is my superior in some way.'' How could he say this, knowing that his intellect was far greater than the great majority of people he would ever meet?
He must have known that one person had learned more than him through life experiences, another plays an instrument better or is a superior builder.
Think about it. Compared to others, you may have a far greater G.P.A. or be much more talented at athletics. But if that makes you look down on them, you need to give some serious thought to Emerson's words. You have a lot to learn from every person who's flunking that class that you're sailing through with "A's". Each is your superior in some way. That girl may flunk Spanish but be a creative genius. Einstein did poorly at languages. That geeky, non-athletic person you look down on may be a whiz at computers. You may be working for him some day. Billionaire Bill Gates looked like a nerd in high school. Super-Successful film producer Steven Spielberg had poor grades in high school and was called "Spielbug." Everyone you look down on is your superior in some way.
If a man of the stature of Emerson could see the great qualities of others, shouldn't it be easier for us regular people to do the same? If this week, we all could look for the great potential in those around us, couldn't it change our school? Each one of you is my superior in some way. Join me in trying to treat each of you that way. (Written by Steve Miller. Quote of Emerson found in The Friendship Factor, by Alan Loy McGinnis, Augsburg Publishing House, 1979, pp. 97-98)
Discussion Questions
1) What do you think Emerson meant by his statement:
''Every man I meet is my superior in some way.''?
2) Think of those people that others put down. In what ways could those people
actually be superior to others? (They may have learned from life experiences
that others don't share: how to get along with an alcoholic or career-driven
father, how to take care of a younger sibling. They may know how to repair
electronics or make a movie.)
3) How do you feel when others put you down?
4) Could you write down the initials of a person who is normally put down or
ignored?
5) Could you talk to that person this week and begin to discover in what areas
he or she is your superior?
Parents are People Too
Have students write down things about their parents or legal guardians in different categories:
1) The type music they like.
2) What they like to do for fun.
3) A strong point of each of your parents.
4) Something you like about your parents.
5) Their greatest worries and concerns.
Then, divide into small groups of about four and share what you wrote with the others.
Debriefing: When we were infants and in elementary school, most of us saw our parents as our need-meeters: they changed our diapers, they were cash machines to buy us food and clothes, our only way to get to events, cooks and cleaners. But often when we become teens we're slow to transition to seeing them as people to befriend.
Still seeing them as existing to meet our needs, we take for granted the daily things they do for us and get mad at them when they don't come through. Somehow, it's easy to forget that our parents are people. Just like us, they like to have fun. Just like us, they get discouraged when nobody encourages them. Just like us, they get overwhelmed with responsibilities and need someone to help them. As we get older, we need to start returning the favors they did to help us live to be a teenager.
Still in your small groups, discuss some ways we can treat our parents more as friends - specific ways we can support and encourage them. Have one person record your ideas. (After you hear discussions winding down, stop them and have someone write all the ideas from each group on the board.)
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Tell Me More...
Instruct students that you're going to play some music and have them walk randomly about the room and that when you stop the music, you'll shout out a number. At that time you'll have to gather that number of the closest people around you into a group and wait for the instructions. You might come up with creative, yet simple ways of giving the number, such as "1 + 6 - 2," or "The number of blind mice in the nursery rhyme". (Don't make it too hard so as to not embarrass anyone. Tell those left out to join another group.) Here are ideas for what to share each time the music stops:
First stop: Each person tell your name and your favorite school subject.
Second stop: Your name and a favorite hobby or past-time.
Third stop: Your name and your favorite style of music.
Fourth stop: Your name and a personal hero or person you respect and why.
Debriefing: What are some things you learned about some people? What were you surprised to learn. It's easy to make judgments on people from first impressions or from what we've heard from somebody else. When we make quick judgments on people, how does that affect our behavior toward them? (We might act cold or rude toward them.) Yet, if we want to respect people, we've got to know them more deeply. Keep getting to know new people at school. There's so much more to each person than what we see.
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Let's Get Beyond Stereotypes and First Impressions
Give each student a sheet of notebook paper, a pen or pencil and either a safety pin or masking tape. On the paper they should write two statements about something that they have done. One statement should be true (but not known to other students) and the other false. Challenge them to be creative. Let them know that their object will be to make if hard for students to guess which statement is true and which is false. They should leave a couple of inches after each statement for other students to write.
Give them a couple of examples: I had an Iguana named Madonna. I've flown an airplane. I once ate a grasshopper. I had brain surgery. After they've had plenty of time, instruct them to have someone fasten the paper to their backs. Have everyone stand up and go around the room, putting a check by the statements that they think are true.
After they've had enough time to get around to most people, have everyone sit down and take off their papers. Find out the winner and top five who got the most checks for their false statement. Give them prizes and have them read their statements. You may want to ask them more information on the true statements if they sound really interesting.
If you want more discussion, allow anyone to share their unusual true statements.
Debriefing: Putting people in a box keeps us from seeing them for who they really are. What's the stereotype of a cheerleader on TV and movies? (Dingy, air-head, popular). It's too easy to find out that someone's a cheerleader and put them in that box. By finding out that a cheerleader has another life outside of cheering can help you see that there's a real person behind that face who has much more to her than just cheering.
According to TV and movies, what's the typical jock like? (Popular, bully, heartless, stuck-up). So what happens when you you meet a jock who's nice and volunteers his time to teach English as a second language or visit the elderly? (It breaks the stereotype.)
If we want to respect others, we must begin by rejecting stereotypes and realizing that there's more to a person than his or her school activities or your first impression.
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Skit on Bullying or Disrespect
Divide into four teams and give them 5 minutes to prepare a short skit on the topic of bullying, (or some other way people show disrespect, depending on the topic of the day.) After each skit, let people give their reflections on the skit, including those who gave it. If discussion doesn't ensue, provoke some with questions such as, "Do you think the skit was realistic?" "In what ways?" "Why do you think the person did the bullying?" "How do you think the person bullied felt inside?" "Why do you think that person reacted so strongly to the bullying?"
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Debate on Compassion, Respect for Others
(This debate might bring out some of the main reasons that students use to justify bullying. Whenever you do something like this, make sure you have you personally have a tight case together about the terrible results of bullying. If by the end of class Team One's still seem compelling, you've reinforced the wrong character!) Divide into two teams, with an equal number of girls and guys on each team.
Team One argues for the proposition: Bullying isn't that bad, since it teaches qualities such as humility and endurance, qualities necessary to deal with real life.
Team Two argues: Bullying is always wrong, showing disrespect for people and doing emotional harm.
Give teams four minutes to prepare their case and decide how to present it. Each team is given two minutes to present its case. After each case is given, each team has one minute to respond to the other.
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Skit on Understand the Differences What People See as Respect and Disrespect
Discuss specific ways that respect can be shown in the context of a business meeting (meeting with the elderly president of your company or meeting with officials from another country) or meeting with community leaders. Tell students that showing respect is determined by each culture. For instance, don’t use the "okay" finger sign in Russia, it’s like flipping someone off! Ask what other interesting cultural differences they know exist in other countries.
But just as we are often ignorant of how to show respect in other cultures, many of us don’t know how older adults or very important people in our own culture understand respect. Let students come up with as many do’s and don’ts as they can for our own culture. (Since many students are never trained in the cultural subtleties of showing respect, they are clueless as to many actions that would offend others.)
You could have fun with this. Have some students put together a skit of some students appearing before some important government officials. They could be picking their noses, slouching and fidgeting in their chairs, wearing hats inside, shirttails out, not making eye contact, late for appointment, using the word "sucks," etc. After the skit, have other students guess all the ways they showed disrespect.
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Human Machines
The year is 2525 and we had developed artificial intelligence in machines to
such an extent that they tried to take over the world. Twenty years ago, we had
to destroy all machines and begin to live off the land. We're all adults now,
taking a retreat together in the mountains and decide to explain to our children
how different machines looked and worked.
Divide into four teams. I'll give each team the name of a vehicle or machine. You've got to come up with a way to demonstrate that machine using your bodies and sound effects. In the end, the class will vote on which team did the best job. Machines might include:
Popcorn Popper
Bulldozer
Motorcycle
Helicopter
City Bus
Toaster
Debriefing: What mental and physical skills were required for this game? (They might mention quick thinking, creativity and physical agility.) In academics we tend to award the ability to get good grades. But life is much more than being tested on our knowledge of texts. What are some of the ways that these other skills can come in handy in life? Why should we be careful not to judge those who are not doing as well as others in school? (They may have difficulty with academics but be geniuses in other areas.)
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DEBATE:
Divide the class into two groups to debate the issue: do some authorities deserve respect solely for their position, regardless of whether we deem them personally worthy of respect? One group argues no: we should respect only those who have earned our respect. The other group argues the opposite.(Oriental societies seem to show much more respect for people in authority. American society seems to have lost much of this. It may help students to see some of the arguments for respecting a person solely for their position as a way to maintain order in society. If we don’t respect police officers solely because of their badges, or principles and teachers solely because of their positions, it becomes difficult to maintain order in society.)
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DISCUSSION: Share significant times in your own life when someone either encouraged or discouraged you. Describe the impact.
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SKIT: Prepare a skit where students sit around the lunch table and ridicule a student or teacher who doesn’t fit in. At the end let students discuss, "Does this skit describe what really goes on?" "How does what really goes on differ?" "What motivates people to put others down?" "How does the ridiculed person feel?"
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Video clip on showing respect: (Either use this clip or describe the scene.) In the hit teen movie ''Wayne’s World'' Wayne and Garth (starting on the video at about 3820 through 3886) saw rock legend Alice Cooper in concert. Being rock fanatics, they get incredibly pumped at the concert and then head backstage, waving their back stage passes around. Incredibly, they happen upon Cooper in a room where he’s hanging out with his crew. Garth can’t say a word. He’s speechless before this legendary rock star. Then Cooper casually asks if they want to hang out with him. Wayne and Garth simultaneously look at each other, fall on their knees and begin crying "We’re not worthy! We’re not worthy! We’re not worthy! We’re scum!"
Why do you think Wayne and Garth had such a respect for Alice Cooper? How did they show respect? What are ways we can show respect for important people?
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Brainstorm a Classroom "Code of Respect"
Second, sum up by saying, "What you're saying is that these are
the ways that show disrespect to you. You don't want to be treated this
way."
Outcome: The result is that students see this code as something they've come up with democratically, rather than something imposed upon them by the administration. When students violate the code, rather than saying, "I don't allow that in my class," you can point out that "Your fellow students agreed that what you're doing shows disrespect. Please refrain from doing that." It's no longer you (the teacher) against the students! It's the entire class against disrespectful behavior!
Skit
or Drama: Jokes That Hurt
Purpose
Setting:
Four
students, only one of whom is blonde, are eating at a lunch table. Other
students can be used in the background on other tables.
Dialogue
Kara
(Blonde) (Spills her drink and stands up suddenly, to avoid getting wet):
"Shoot!" (Make sure to use local lingo - "Oh no!," etc.)
Embarrassingly:
"That was a smooth move!"
Todd:
"Be careful guys! In case you didn't notice, we've got a blonde
among us."
Kara:
(Sitting back down.) "I may be blonde, but I can tell the future. (Closing
her eyes in deep thought.) Let's see, I feel the blonde jokes starting up
again."
Ben:
(Laughing) "I think anybody could have predicted that!"
Paul:
"Hey, did you hear about the blonde who wrote the initials TGIF on the top
of her shoes?"
Ben:
"Why did she do that?"
Paul:
"To remind her that TGIF - Toes Go In First"
All Laugh
(Including Kara, who acts like she's having fun too.)
Paul:
"Do you know how to make a blonde laugh on Friday?"
Kara:
"No. How do you make a blonde laugh on Friday?"
Paul:
"Tell her a joke on Monday!"
Kara:
"Takes her that long to get the punch line…"
Todd:
"But not all blondes are dumb…some are into Science."
Ben:
"Really? You mean, like inventors?"
Todd:
"Right! Have you heard of some of the latest inventions by blondes?"
Ben:
"Like the screen door for a submarine!"
Kara:
"Or the water proof towel!"
Todd
(To Ben and Paul): We'd better get to P.E.!
Paul:
"Later Kara!"
Kara:
"Later guys!"
(Camera
follows the guys just long enough to not see Kara for a moment, allowing her to
secretly put a dab of water beneath her eye, making a tear.)
Kara
(After the others leave, she dials a number on her cell, while looking around to
make sure nobody is close enough to hear): "Hey mom."
(Pause) "Okay." "Hey, could you pick me up some hair color
on the way home?" (Pause. Camera zooms in close enough to reveal her tear.)
"It doesn't really matter what color, just as long as it's not
blonde."
Narrator:
Sometimes we don’t realize how much our words can hurt others. Today, let’s
think before we speak, realizing how our negative words can hurt and positive
words can help.
Discussion
1 – Why do
you think Kara got upset?
2 – Do you
think the boys meant to be mean to Kara?
3 – Why
didn’t Kara let them know that the blonde jokes hurt her?
4 – What
are some of the things you hear students say that hurt people?
5 – When we see a student getting hurt by someone’s words, what can we do to help?
Defining Respect
''The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.'' (Columnist Ann Landers)
**********************
Someone has said that the test of a great man is the way he treats little people. (The Friendship Factor, by Alan Loy McGinnis, Augsburg Publishing House, 1979)
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The best index to a person's character is (a) how he treats people who can't do him any good, and (b) how he treats people who can't fight back.
[Abigail Van Buren (1974)]''It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others.''
(John Andrew Holmes)**********************
We know the worth of a thing when we have lost it. (French Proverb)
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In her second year of nursing school, Joann Jones took a test that she never forgot. The last question read, ''What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?'' She thought it was a joke. Although she'd seen the lady, she'd never bothered to find out her name. She asked the professor if the last question counted toward the grade. The prof replied, ''Absolutely. In your careers you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say hello.'' She got the point, starting by learning that the cleaning lady was named Dorothy.'' (Guideposts)
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When we take a closer look at those we criticize, we find that they have some really great qualities. And it's not just the other person who benefits. We too benefit from the relationship. As Jack Handey once said in his "Deep Thoughts":
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have their shoes.
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In a speech attributed to billionaire Bill Gates in speaking at a high school, he dished out 11 things that youth don't learn in school. Here is rule #11 -
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
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Getting other people to like you is simply the other side of liking other people. (Norman Vincent Peale)
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A person's a person, no matter how small. (Dr. Seuss, Horton Hears a Who)
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The more people I meet, the more I like my dog. (Bumper Sticker)
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We ought to treat our elderly as if we expect to become one of them. (Frank Clark)
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Pat Riley, one of the winningest coaches ever, had an incredible season with the Los Angeles Lakers, taking them to the championship in 1980. But the next year, everything fell apart. What happened? They were no less talented than the year before. Why couldn't they win? According to Riley, they had fallen victim to a terrible disease that he called ''The Disease of Me.'' You see, incredible hoopla surrounded Julius Ervin's game. Other players got jealous, dividing into cliques and ruining their team spirit. As Riley put it, ''Because of greed, pettiness, and resentment, we executed one of the fastest falls from grace in NBA history.'' (Written by Steve Miller. Taken from Pat Riley, The Winner Within, G.P. Putnam's Sons, New York, 1993, pp. 40-52)
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Verbal cruelty hurts. I’ll give you an example. Multi-platinum selling singer/songwriter Jewel wrote a moving song entitled "Fat Boy." It’s about a real boy named Edward who was one of her close childhood friends. Edward’s friends mercilessly teased him for being overweight. Like most kids, he probably tried to brush off the jokes and act like they didn’t bother him. But inside he became more and more depressed. Finally, by age 18, he decided that enough was enough. He went to a corner of Jewel’s parent’s farm and shot himself in the face. This is what he wrote in his suicide note: "Nobody will love me. And to know that you’re not sexually attractive in our society at age 13 or to feel that you won’t ever be loved at age 18 is just devastating."
(Source: Neil Strauss, Rolling Stone, 1/7/99).Wish you could have been there for Edward, before it was too late? Well I’ve got news for you. Every day in your school, in your neighborhoods and perhaps even in your home there are "Edwards" all around you. During the hour that we meet, 228 teens in the USA will attempt suicide. That’s two million students every year whose lives are so miserable that they’re looking for a way out.
(CPYU Fall 1998 Newsletter "It’s Time to Give Them Time," by Walt Mueller) These students desperately need to hear an encouraging, respectful word from someone who cares.''The faults of others are like headlights of an approaching automobile – they only seem more glaring than your own.'' (Chewelah [Wash.] Independent)
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Don't blame others: ''If you could kick the person responsible for most of your troubles, you wouldn't be able to sit down for six months.'' (Gordon Gray)
''So many of our problems could probably be solved if the rich man could find out how badly the poor man lives and if the poor man could find out how hard and long the rich man has to work.'' (Bob Talbert)
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Don't judge by their age...
Molly was worried that her
three-year-old son Morris was
unusually
precocious, and took him to a psychiatrist.
"I understand," said the
shrink, "We'll just try a few simple tests."
Morris, he said, "Can you say a few words? Can you talk to me?"
The boy turned to his mother and asked, "Does he want logically
constructed, grammatically correct sentences without split infinitives, or just
a few random and purely isolated words."
Look for the Strengths of Others
Super-successful quarterback Tom Brady could easily look down on others from his lofty pedestal. But according to head coach Belichick, Brady "doesn't put himself above anybody, above the equipment manager, above the guy on the practice squad, or above a defensive player. He has respect for them doing their jobs." (Moving the Chains: Tom Brady and the Pursuit of Everything, by Charles P. Pierce (New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2006), p. 159.) ********************** Gandhi inspired millions through his extraordinary
leadership. How did he do it? Perhaps a part of his secret lay in his unique
ability to see the best in others. As Gandhi biographer Louis Fischer wrote,
''He refused to see the bad in people. He often changed human beings by
regarding them not as what they were but as though they were what they wished to
be, and as though the good in them was all of them.'' (Quoted from The
Friendship Factor, by Alan Loy McGinnis, Augsburg Publishing House, 1979, p.
100) ********************** The nobler sort of man emphasizes the good qualities in others, and does not
accentuate the bad. The inferior does the reverse.
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When I don't have expectations of others, anything positive they do is a pleasant surprise. (Overheard at a 12 steps meeting.)
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Look for the good in every person and every situation. You'll almost always find it. (Brian Tracy)
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I always prefer to believe the best of everybody - it saves so much trouble. (Rudyard Kipling)
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Human relations mean treating people as if they were what they ought to be and you help them to become what they are capable of being. (German poet and philosopher Johann Wolfgang von Goethe)
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Treat a person as he is and he will remain as he is. Treat him as he could be, and he will become what he should be. (Coach Jimmy Johnson)
''Everyone has an invisible sign hanging from their neck saying, 'Make me feel important.'
Never forget this message when working with people.'' (Super-successful business woman Mary Kay)Don't use others...
What sales techniques show respect for others? What might you sacrifice by being respectful?
When a thirteen-year-old Girl Scout was asked how she sold 11,200 boxes of cookies, she responded, "You have to look people in the eye and make them feel guilty."
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''No man has ever risen to real stature until he has found that it is finer to serve somebody else than it is to serve himself.'' (Woodrow Wilson)
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Many people fail at relationships because instead of acting out of interest for other people, they are obsessed with dominating others. Do you tend to dominate others? If so, you might want to look at someone who lived for this and succeeded most of the time.
His name was Adolf Hitler. According to Alan Bullock, ''Everything about him was unified around his lust for power and the craving to dominate.'' Hitler's life ended in suicide and is now universally hated. Let's try to avoid his faults. (Bullock quote found in The Friendship Factor, by Alan Loy McGinnis, Augsburg Publishing House, 1979, p. 62)
Epperson's law: When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at.
A simple friend opens a conversation with a full news bulletin on his life. A real friend says, What's new with you?
(Unknown)**********************
I'm not deaf. I'm just ignoring you. (Bumper Sticker)
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Douglas MacArthur is well known, but few know that he was not only a great general but was also very adept at human relations. He had an aide wire a report of every visiting dignitary's background and interest. The next time the dignitary returned, MacArthur was able to make the visitor feel important and flattered by all that he remembered about him. (Joe Griffith, Speaker's Library of Business Quotes)
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''The sinking of the Titanic and the attack on Pearl Harbor are tragedies that might have been avoided - if people had listened.'' (Tell it Often, McCloskey, p. 243)
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CBS used to run dozens of late night news specials a year, but since Ted Koppel began hosting Nightline, they knew they'd be crazy to try to compete. Some regard him as the smartest man on television, and his skills as host bring him well over $1,000,000 per year. So what makes him such a great host? How can he keep coming up with the perfect questions and lead-ins to pull the best material from his guests? According to Koppel, ''I listen. Most people don't. Something interesting comes along and - whooosh! - it goes right past them.''
But listening doesn't come naturally. Koppel speaks of honing this skill while traveling with Secretary of State Henry Kissinger as reporter for ABC news. (Newsweek article) Koppel's attention to listening has helped net him $1,000,000 per year. Others who have learned this skill have netted a thriving marriage, or a loyal customer base. How could you improve your listening? (© Copyright 2002 Steve Miller - All Rights Reserved)
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Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener. (Not Your Average Dictionary)
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I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn't learn something from him. [Galileo Galilei (1564-1642)]
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Success depends above all, upon people. Build relationships, teams, partnerships -- and motivate people to contribute. Cultivate leadership, creativity, excellence. Listen; seek new ideas and advice. (Ruth Scott Pres. & CEO, Assoc. for Portland (OR) Progress)
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Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say.
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I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant. (Robert McCloskey, State Department spokesman)
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The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said. (Management guru Peter F. Drucker)
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A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, ''Mom,guess what? We learned how to make babies today.''
The mother, more that a little surprised, asked fearfully, ''That's interesting. How do you make babies?''
''It's simple,'' replied the girl. ''You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'.'' (Found on Internet)
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When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen. (Ernest Hemingway)
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''No man ever listened himself out of a job.'' (Calvin Coolidge)
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You have the right to remain silent. So please SHUT UP. (Bumper Sticker)
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Great leaders don't think they have all the good ideas. Instead, they humbly solicit ideas from all levels of their organizations. Steven Spielberg is the most successful movie producer in the world. He's got plenty of creative ideas and has every right to tell the actors to sit quietly and allow him to tell them what to do. Yet, listen to actress Drew Barrymore tell how Spielberg worked with her and the other children in the movie E.T.
''Right off, I fell in love with Steven [Spielberg]. In many ways he was – and always will be – the dad I never had. I wanted so badly to be accepted by him, and when I was, it meant a lot to me. I was thrilled when he invited me to his Malibu house. We'd run along the beach, collect seashells, and build sand castles. It was so much fun to hang out with him.
But working with Steven was even better. In most of the scenes he let me do whatever I wanted. All of us were free to offer input, but he especially seemed to like the silly things the kids came up with. Like in the scene where Henry, Robert, and I are hiding E.T. in the closet from our mother, Henry tells me that only kids can see E.T. There wasn't a line to go with that, and Steven told me to just make something up. So when we did the scene again, I just shrugged and said, ''Gimme a break!''
He'd often take me aside and say something like, ''You're talking to me now. Do you really like this? Or do you have a different idea? Do you think it could be done a different way?'' Eventually I'd add something and Steven would smile and say, ''Good, let's combine ideas.'' It made me feel so good. For once I didn't feel like some stupid little kid trying to make people love me. I felt important and useful.'' (Drew Barrymore with Todd Gold, Little Girl Lost, Pocket Books: New York, 1990, p. 58)
The point? As leaders in the home and in the world, we desperately need good ideas. Also, we need to help our children and employees to feel ownership, like they're an important part of the team. To build your children's self-esteem, ask for their input. To make your employees feel good about their work, gather and reward their ideas. (Written by Steve Miller, Copyright May 6, 2002)
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Oxford professor C.S. Lewis was one of the most successful authors in history. But according to some of his lifelong writing friends, he'd never put himself above them when they would critique one another's writing. Although they were far less successful than he was, he never threw his weight around.
According to one of them, Owen Barfield, ''I never recall a single remark, a single word or silence, a single look.... which would go to suggest that he felt his opinion was entitled to more respect than that of his old friends... I wonder how many famous men there have been of whom this could truthfully be said.'' (Barfield quote found in The Friendship Factor, by Alan Loy McGinnis, Augsburg Publishing House, 1979, pp. 63-64)
Not finding what you need concerning "Respect for Others"? See also our related categories: Generosity/Service, Kindness, Empathy, Courtesy/Civility, Gratitude, Acceptance, Forgiveness