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Peacemaker

"Seeks peaceful solutions to fights and quarrels" 

(See also Respect for OthersCourtesy/Civility, Acceptance, Cooperation, Forgiveness, Patience, Kindness

"Peacemaker" includes subjects like Violence, Conflict Resolution, War, Anger Management.

Click-Throughs to "Peacemaker" Categories 

Intercom Insights

Games, Activities and Clips

Defining Peacemaking

The Need for Peacemaking

How to Become a Peacemaker

Resources on Peacemaking

Intercom Insights

Mistaken Obituary Changes His Life

Alfred Nobel invented dynamite and later built companies and labs in over 20 countries, accumulating vast wealth. A brilliant man who held over 350 patents, he also wrote poetry and drama. But a dramatic personal event showed him that he needed more than personal success.

Following his brother's death, a newspaper mistakenly ran an obituary for Alfred, saying that he was known for creating the most destructive force known to mankind - dynamite. The title said it all: ''The Merchant of Death is Dead.''

The impact of reading his own obituary changed his life. Not wanting to be remembered for destruction, he began thinking of ways to give away his fortune to recognize those who had made significant contributions in medicine, chemistry, physiology, physics, literature and peace. As a result, The Nobel Peace Prize is awarded each year to the person who ''shall have done the most or the best work for fraternity between nations, for the abolition or reduction of standing armies and for the holding of peace congresses.''

Today few know Alfred Nobel as the man who invented dynamite. Instead, we know him as the creator of the Nobel Peace Prize. He's not known for destruction; he's known for peace. Because of an editorial fluke in a newspaper, Nobel faced his legacy before his death, and had the opportunity to turn things around.

If we were to die today, what would each of us be known for? How would we want our obituaries to read? It's great to make good grades and excel at a sport or in band, but is that all we want to be known for? Would you be known for having the most dates or wearing the nicest clothes. Looking at it from Nobel's perspective, all this seems kind of shallow. When I'm really thinking straight, I realize that the main thing I want to be known for is that I cared for people and helped others along the way. 

This week, let's try to live for things that we want to be known for, things that will last.

(Copyright Sept., 2002, by Steve Miller. Sources: http://www.nobel.se/nobel/alfred-nobel/  ; Alcorn, Randy, The Treasure Principle, Multnomah Publishers, Sisters, OR; p. 77-78, http://www.meaning.ca/meaningful_living/worthy_lives/alfred_nobel.html  )

Discussion Questions

1. What was Alfred Nobel known for inventing?
2. What shook up his life?
3. What do you really want to be known for when you die? (You could write a several sentence obituary of yourself. See below under Games, Activities....)
4. How can we take some steps today to live for things that really matter?

Rosa Brings Peace Through Non-Violent Protest

On November 2, 2005, nearly 7,000  people packed the Greater Grace Temple for the funeral of a little woman who had a great heart - Rosa Parks. Attendees included government officials and celebrities. During her lifetime she received almost countless awards and honors. Why all the honors?  What can we learn from her?

The Background

Fifty years ago, as a 42-year-old tailor's assistant in a Montgomery, Alabama department store, Rosa made her stand against segregation by staying seated in her bus seat after being ordered to give up her seat. She was black; the new arrivals were white. At the time, laws allowed for the separation of whites and blacks in public places such as city buses. Blacks had to sit toward the back. If the white section filled, blacks had to sit further back. The laws were wrong, and she knew it. 

It would have been easy for her to take the easy road and go with the flow like most people. But segregation was wrong. She'd experienced it in many ways. As a child, she'd see white kids ride by her in the school bus, while she had to walk to school. She remembered, all too vividly, hearing a lynching by the Klu Klux Klan outside of her house, fearing that they would burn her house down. As an adult, she'd step up to the front of the bus to pay the fare, only to have to walk back out of the bus to enter further back on the bus. Sometimes the bus would take off before she could get back in. It was wrong. Someone had to do something about it. 

As an adult, she fought discrimination through her work with the local chapter of the NAACP (The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People), devoting her time to support the rights of Afro-Americans. 

Rosa Makes Her Stand...By Sitting!

So it was no surprise that when Rosa and three others were asked to give up their seats, although the others complied, she politely refused. She sat alone. She wasn't physically tired. She was tired of discrimination. Somebody needed to make a stand. She made her stand by sitting. 

Here are the blow by blow details, according to Rosa: 

The bus driver demands, "Y'all better make it light on yourselves and let me have those seats." 

Rosa comments: "The driver wanted us to stand up, the four of us. We didn't move at the beginning, but he says, 'Let me have these seats.' And the other three people moved, but I didn't." Rosa simply moved over to the window seat and stayed put. 

The bus driver continues: "Why don't you stand up?" 

Rosa replies, "I said I don't think I should have to stand up." 

Bus Driver: "Well, if you don't stand up, I'm going to have to call the police and have you arrested."

Rosa: "You may do that." 

The bus driver proceeded to call the police, who promptly arrested her.   

The Price She Paid

The ensuing arrest, detainment and fine were small stuff compared to the later harassment and death threats to her and her husband. They also lost their jobs. 

Was It Worth It? 

As a result of Rosa's stand, many people rallied around her cause. A new minister in town, Dr. Martin Luther King, took up the cause and led a boycott of the bus system for 381 days. Since 2/3 of the bus riders in Montgomery were black, they got the system's attention. 

After she was convicted of breaking the law, she appealed her decision until in November 1956, the U.S. Supreme Court outlawed segregation on buses.

Very few people can say that their actions caused positive change on a national scale, but Rosa could. She was able to live the rest of her life knowing that she'd faced her fears, stood up for something significant, and made a difference. 

How Did Character Help?

Many of us have heard the story of Rosa Parks, but may have never thought through just how her character was necessary to make her mark on the nation. 

First, she needed courage and determination to make her stand. In her own words:

"When that white driver stepped back toward us, when he waved his hand and ordered us up and out of our seats, I felt a determination cover my body like a quilt on a winter night."

Second, she was neither violent nor hot-tempered.  Had she been either of these, the press and lawyers might have swayed public opinion and juries by arguing that she was simply an argumentative rabble-rouser who deserved to be moved to another seat. Through her non-violent protest, she brought peace. 

Third, she had built a great reputation. The NAACP needed a person who could stand up to public scrutiny and represent Afro-Americans well. Rosa had completed school and studied to be a teacher. She had a job. She was faithful to her husband. She had developed not only a quiet fortitude, but an understanding of the political system.  

According to Dr. Martin Luther King, "Mrs. Parks...was regarded as one of the finest citizens of Montgomery—not one of the finest Negro citizens—but one of the finest citizens of Montgomery." 

Her character not only motivated her to make a stand, but allowed her stand to shake the nation. 

Debriefing

1. What did Rosa Parks do that changed the country?
2. What did she risk by refusing to move from her seat?
3. How is our country better because of her stand?
4. Do you think she felt good because of her actions?
5. Are there issues today where we might have to take a stand?
6. How can we become a person who can stand against the crowd and make a difference?

(Written by Steve Miller, Copyright November 2, 2005, all rights reserved. Sources: CBS News, Final Tributes For Rosa Parks, Detroit, Nov. 2, 2005; Pioneer of Civil Rights, Rosa Parks www.achievement.org ; Civil Rights Leader Dies (Scholastic News) by Ezra Billinkoff; The Time 100, Rosa Parks, Her simple act of protest galvanized America's civil rights revolution, by RITA DOVE; Wikipedia)

Games, Activities and Clips

On one fateful day in April, 2003, someone at the Cable News Network faithfully published the obituary column on the Web. Problem was, the people hadn't died yet. How could that happen?

Major news networks must be ready to announce the death of a famous world figure the minute they get word of it. They can't wait around for someone to research the person's achievements and write a nice column. Thus, they go ahead and write these obituaries before the people die, so that they will be prepared. Someone simply wasn't paying attention to what list they were publishing, so if the Pope, Fidel Castro, Bob Hope, Nelson Mandela, Dick Cheney and Ronald Reagan logged onto their internet news at the right time, they would have discovered that, unknown to them, they had unexpectedly died. 

This brings up an interesting thought. If your family and acquaintances were to write up your obituary now, what would they say about you? 

Activity: 

1) Write down some of the things you think they would say. 
2) Imagine that you were the person you'd like to be at the time of your death. Write your obituary using the character and accomplishments you'd like for people to see in you. 
3) Have a discussion on how you'd need to change in order to become the person you'd like to be. (CNN makes a deadly mistake JIM MCBETH , The Scotsman, Scotland's National Newspaper Online, April 18, 03.)

The Untangle Game

Divide into groups of 8 or 10 (must be an even number). Standing facing one another in a circle.  Instruct each student to grab the right hand of a student across from (not next to) him or her. Next, join left hands with a different person.  Then, try to untangle without anyone letting go. 

Debriefing: How are tense, antagonistic relationships sort of like knots that need to be untangled? What factors make it difficult to untangle these relationships? Why is it worth the price? Peacekeeping can be much like untangling. 

Defining Peacemaking

The Need for Peacemaking

To Save the World

I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones. (Albert Einstein)

It Brings Happiness

He is happiest, be he king or peasant, who finds his peace in his home. (Goethe)

In Order to Not Be Controlled By Others

''He who angers you conquers you.'' (Elizabeth Kenny)

When Conflict Starts, Things Can Get Dangerous

Anger is only one letter short of danger.

Why Turning the Other Cheek Makes Sense

If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.

Because Human Nature Tends to Subjugate the Weaker

I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.  (Jack Handy, Deep Thoughts)

Because Drivers Are Out of Control

Horn broken. Watch for finger - Bumper Sticker

I still miss my Ex ... but my aim is improving - Bumper Sticker

Hey jerk, you are driving a car, not a phone booth - Bumper Sticker

Warning! Driver only carries $20 in ammunition - Bumper Sticker

Caution! I brake for tailgaters - Bumper Sticker

Keep honking, I'm reloading. - Bumper Sticker

It Destroys Your Enemies

Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them? (Abraham Lincoln)

How to Become a Peacemaker

Overcome the Love of Power with the Power of Love

When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. (Jimi Hendrix (1942-1970) American Musician, Guitarist, Singer, Songwriter)

Make Time for Your Family

Everybody today seems to be in such a terrible rush; anxious for greater developments and greater wishes and so on; so that children have very little time for their parents; Parents have very little time for each other; and the home begins the disruption of the peace of the world. (Mother Teresa)

Get to Know and Have Compassion for Your Enemies

If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility. (Henry Wadsworth Longfellow)

Avoid Situations Where Conflict May Easily Erupt

A great truths learned by kids:

"When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair."

Learn to Listen to Opinions Without Getting Personally Involved

"Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence." (Robert Frost)

Deal With Your Anger

When angry count to ten; when very angry count to one hundred.'' (Thomas Jefferson)

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When angry, count to five; when very angry, swear. (Mark Twain)

Need more resources on "Peacemaking"? See also our related traits: Respect for OthersCourtesy/Civility, Acceptance, Cooperation, Forgiveness, Patience, Kindness .